IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3278 – Band 5.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.
Why might this be the case?
What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

The main reasons and the potential drawbacks of self-employment

In today’s world more and more professionals choose the self-employment as the preferred working type. People post their home offices on the social media, express their happiness and inspire others to be self-employed. From my prospective, this has three major causes.

To begin with, freedom and flexibility are the main contributors of freelancing. People love when they have luxury of self-management of their time and don’t rely on their managers and supervisors. For example, when one wants to travel somewhere and to enjoy with the new places and relax they don’t have to fill long applications to request the permission for a vacation. Another example of this would be flexibility of the choice to work during evenings or mornings, as long as for some people it is exhausting to work and focus during the first half of the day.

Another contributor of freelancing would be the expanded opportunities to work on the multiple projects and for the companies from different parts of the earth. Self-employed professionals are not limited to work any inside the country and can seek different options of the job globally. For instance, may designers from Georgia prefere to freelance and supply their resources to the western countries due to higher hourly rates and diversity of the projects.

There are, on the other hand, certain demerits of freelancing that cannot be ignored. Self-employed people don’t have payed vacations, despite other traditional workers. Another disadvantage would be that there is no guarantee of stable income, and they need to be skilled  ind PFM (personal finance management) to avoid bankrupting.

Finally, freelancer doesn’t have the access for the special benefits, corporations offer their employees. To be more specific, they don’t have a good health insurance package, and the specialized trainings by the top consulting firms and coaches to advance their skills and knowledge

313 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

January 26, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 5.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
7.0 addresses all parts of the task
6.0 presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive
5.0 presents some main ideas but these are limited and not sufficiently developed; there may be irrelevant detail
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion
5.0 presents information with some organization
5.0 there may be a lack of overall progression
6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically
5.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
6.0 errors rarely reduce communication
6.0
5.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The initial promise of discussing three causes in the introduction is not fully realized in the essay, as there are two paragraphs, each addressing a distinct cause. Additionally, the absence of a concluding paragraph is a significant oversight. The opening sentence appears to function as a title; it's important to note that IELTS essays do not require titles, and we typically begin with the introduction. In summary, the essay would benefit from a more comprehensive introduction and conclusion. It is essential that each essay fulfills the commitments made in its introduction.

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The 5.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

In contemporary society, a growing number of individuals are opting for self-employment over traditional employment within companies or organizations. This shift in career preferences can be attributed to various compelling reasons.
Primarily, the allure of self-employment lies in the autonomy and flexibility it offers. Entrepreneurs and freelancers relish the freedom to set their own schedules, choose their projects, and dictate their work methods. This level of independence allows individuals to pursue their passions and interests while shaping their professional paths according to their preferences.
Moreover, the advent of digital technology has democratized entrepreneurship, making self-employment increasingly accessible. Online platforms and digital tools empower individuals to start businesses or offer services independently, eliminating the need for brick-and-mortar setups and traditional employment structures.
However, the self-employed encounter several disadvantages. Foremost among these is the instability of income. Without a fixed salary, self-employed individuals often face irregular earnings, financial uncertainties, and the responsibility of managing their own finances, including taxes and insurance. The absence of employee benefits such as healthcare coverage, retirement plans, or paid leave further adds to the challenges. Self-employed individuals need to independently source these benefits, which can be financially burdensome.
Additionally, the lack of a structured work environment and isolation can lead to feelings of loneliness and reduced collaboration, potentially impacting mental well-being.
In conclusion, the growing appeal of self-employment is driven by the desire for autonomy and facilitated by technological advancements. However, challenges like financial uncertainties, absence of benefits, and potential isolation underscore the complexities inherent in being self-employed. Balancing the benefits of autonomy with the need for stability remains crucial for individuals navigating the realm of self-employment.
270 words

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