IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3267 – Band 7.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

What is your opinion on this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

It is widely argued that teenagers should be considered as a susceptible group of societies who could be exposed easily to different types of crimes. Curfew, therefore, has been imposed in some areas of the United States in terms of mitigating the number of alone adolescents staying outside after certain times at night. However, they could be accompanied by an adult to go outside during dangerous times. I totally agree with the fact that teenagers should be monitored while they are outside during certain times.

To begin with, curfew could be enforced to limit the number of adolescents at certain times of the night owing to reducing juvenile delinquency. It means that teenagers can rub shoulders with their peers who can be criminal or at least, commit minor offenses. Peer pressure, therefore, would encourage teenagers to commit crimes. Owing a gun, for example, is mainstream in the United States and teenagers could have a gun before reaching the lawful ages.

Another reason encouraging curfew could be the danger of addiction for adolescents. Teenagers could be easily exposed to a wide range of drugs via their peers. Staying outside at midnight can soar the rate of addiction as few people are on the streets. Most addicted, for instance, are seeking the drugs in the middle of the night as it is easier to find the dealers during midnight. This, therefore, is essential to accompany a teenager with an adult after certain times at night.

All things considered, curfew could be regarded as a positive rule to mitigate juvenile delinquency and addiction rate among adolescents. Personally, I believe that monitoring teenagers should not be restricted to midnight as they need a degree of oversees during all times of the day.

288 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

January 12, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 7.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
8.0 sufficiently addresses all parts of the task
9.0 presents a fully developed position in answer to the question
8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
8.0
Coherence and Cohesion
9.0 sequences information and ideas logically
8.0 manages all aspects of cohesion well
9.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
8.0
Lexical Resource
9.0 uses a wide range of vocabulary
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
8.0 the majority of sentences are error-free
9.0 rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’
7.0 they do not impede communication
7.0
7.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. There is overuse of passive voice in this essay. It is important to know that using passive voice does not count towards a variety of grammatical structures, so it is best to limit our use of passive voice to around 10% of all sentences in an essay.

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In certain areas of the United States, there is a practice of imposing curfews on teenagers, restricting their outdoor activities beyond a particular evening hour unless accompanied by an adult. This measure is aimed at addressing concerns related to safety and the behavior of adolescents. In my opinion, the implementation of such curfews can be justified, but it must be done with a balanced approach that respects the rights and responsibilities of teenagers.
The primary argument in favor of teenage curfews is safety. Supporters argue that curfews can help mitigate the risks associated with teenagers engaging in delinquent activities or becoming victims of crimes during the late hours. Curfews provide parents with a sense of security, knowing that their children are not exposed to potentially dangerous situations when they should be at home. In this sense, curfews can serve as a protective measure.
However, it is essential to strike a balance between safety concerns and personal freedom. Enforcing strict curfews without considering the individual circumstances of teenagers can be overly restrictive. It is crucial to recognize that not all teenagers engage in risky behaviors, and many are responsible individuals. Blanket curfews may infringe upon their rights and hinder their opportunities for personal growth and development.
In conclusion, while safety concerns may justify the implementation of teenage curfews in some areas of the US, it is important to exercise caution and avoid overly restricting the freedoms of responsible adolescents. A more flexible, case-by-case approach would be more appropriate to address this matter, respecting both the need for safety and the rights of teenagers.
262 words

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