IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3258 – Band 7.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

In recent years, many governments have brought in laws to ban smoking in public places, such as bars, restaurants, and offices.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with banning smoking in public places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Nowadays, smoking has been restricted by authorities in many public closed spaces. I believe this is a bold, necessary move by lawmakers as it can greatly promote public health and at the same time preserve the rights of other members of society. It can also provide a chance for smokers to practice quit smoking for at least a short time.

Without question, governments have great responsibilities in improving their communities. They should always think and introduce laws for solving the biggest challenges of society. The percentage of smokers has now reached an alarming rate all around the world. Therefore, in an attempt to reduce the detrimental effects of smoking on the community, many legislators have decided to prohibit smoking cigarettes in closed public places such as cinemas, cafes, and libraries. This is an indispensable, but, of course, not enough decision by authorities to promote the health of all peoples in society. One study actually has shown that people who are in exposure to smoke fumes are even at higher risk of cardiovascular disease compared to smokers themselves. Consequently, this decision can significantly reduce the chance of heart diseases in the whole society.

Furthermore, restriction of smoking for nicotine addicts in some places can give them a chance to stay away from their harmful habit of smoking or even allow them to think about quitting smoking. Many smokers argue that they are creatures of habit and they just have to smoke cigarettes at certain times of a day and when, for example, they forced not to smoke at certain places, they eventually become more resistant to smoking temptation, which would be beneficial for them as well.

In a nutshell, I think banning smoking in closed public space by governments is a really positive step towards improvement of whole society health.

299 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

December 19, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 7.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
8.0 sufficiently addresses all parts of the task
8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question
8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
8.0
Coherence and Cohesion
9.0 sequences information and ideas logically
8.0 manages all aspects of cohesion well
9.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
8.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
8.0 the majority of sentences are error-free
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
7.0 they do not impede communication
7.0
7.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The rubric is very well addressed, and the essay is clearly organized. For high scores, the essay needs to focus more on producing word groups with the highest accuracy and clarity. The best way is to focus on improving collocations. Here’s a good read:

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In recent times, a growing number of governments have introduced legislation aimed at banning smoking in public places, including bars, restaurants, and offices. I wholeheartedly agree with this trend and believe that it is a positive step forward for several reasons.
First and foremost, implementing bans on smoking in public places significantly contributes to public health. Smoking is a well-established health hazard, not only for the individuals who smoke but also for those exposed to secondhand smoke. By enforcing these bans, governments can protect the health of both smokers and non-smokers alike, reducing the risk of various illnesses, including respiratory conditions and heart diseases. This proactive approach to public health fosters a safer and healthier environment for everyone.
Moreover, banning smoking in public places promotes social well-being and encourages a more considerate and pleasant atmosphere for all members of society. It eliminates the discomfort that non-smokers often experience when subjected to the harmful effects of secondhand smoke. Additionally, it encourages smokers to either quit or limit their habit, leading to positive lifestyle changes.
Furthermore, these bans have a profound impact on changing societal norms and behaviors related to smoking. They send a strong message that smoking is an undesirable and harmful habit. Over time, this can lead to a reduction in the number of new smokers, further benefiting public health in the long run.
In conclusion, the ban on smoking in public places is a commendable initiative that has significant advantages. It safeguards public health, improves the quality of life for everyone, and fosters positive societal changes. Therefore, I strongly support the implementation of such measures.
266 words

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