IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3255 – Band 6.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people say smartphones and laptops are harmful for primary school children and they should not be allowed to use them. Others, however, believe they are beneficial and children’s access to technology should not be limited.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

In our modern world, technology has penetrated our daily life, and in particular children’s life, by offering a wide range of devices. While according to some the easy use of technological devices should be restricted among students, others, myself included, are convinced that the educators should have unrestricted access to modern technology due to its favorable impacts. In this essay, I will state both these views.

On the one hand, those who are in favor of restricting technological advices hold the view that children are becoming socially isolated which is rooted in the widespread use of technology. This has meant that the educators would not present physically at the society and they prefer to stay home while they are allocating their time to smartphones and laptops. Children therefore will not be able to communicate effectively with their peers. For instance, gamers become addicted to their computers and they prefer to stay home rather than spending time with their friends. The opponents of technological devices also believe that the increasing use of technology can result in laziness and obesity among students.

On the other hand, the proponents of technological devices adhere that technology facilitates students with not only online learning but also practical applications to handle real-life situations. It enables students to look for a wealth of information through various websites, in particular YouTube and Google. For instance, more than half of the students across the globe has access to the internet and at least one up-to-date device to find their subject-related information.

All things considered, although many people believe that the feeling of isolation and obesity should not be neglected as the results of advances in technology, I believe that technological devices are tremendously advantageous due to providing virtual learning.

290 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

January 8, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
8.0 sufficiently addresses all parts of the task
8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question
8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
8.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
7.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
6.0 errors rarely reduce communication
6.0
6.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Redundancy is not a serious error by itself but is an item to be careful about if we are aiming at high IELTS scores.

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The 6.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

In today's digital age, the role of technology, specifically smartphones and laptops, in the lives of primary school children is a topic of considerable debate. While some argue that these devices are harmful and should be prohibited for young children, others contend that they offer substantial benefits and that access to technology should not be restricted. This essay will examine both perspectives and provide an opinion.
On one hand, proponents of restricting technology access for young children argue that excessive screen time can lead to a host of issues, including reduced physical activity, impaired social skills, and potential harm to their developing brains. They emphasize the importance of safeguarding children from the potential dangers of the internet and the addictive nature of digital content, which can hinder academic and social development.
Conversely, advocates for technology access in primary education emphasize its educational benefits. Smartphones and laptops can provide children with a wealth of information and interactive learning tools. They argue that, when used in moderation and with proper parental guidance, these devices can enhance creativity, problem-solving skills, and digital literacy. Furthermore, in a rapidly advancing technological world, early exposure to these tools can better prepare children for future success.
In my opinion, controlled and supervised use of smartphones and laptops can be highly beneficial for primary school children. These devices, when integrated into the learning process, can enhance educational experiences and help children develop essential skills. However, it is crucial for parents and educators to strike a balance between screen time and other activities, ensuring that children's well-being remains a top priority.
262 words

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