IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3252 – Band 7.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

“Prevention is better than cure”. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in prevention measures.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

It is widely argued that preventing the diseases is more vital and important than treatment to have a healthy society. Health is the greatest asset of each nation which government should look after. It is suggested to allocate the state budget to providing prevention strategies rather than treating illnesses. I strongly agree with prevention measures to enrich everybody’s lifestyle as it will greatly benefit both society and individual.

At the society level, a healthy community is characterized by members who adopted a healthy lifestyle. It will lead to less hospital construction or other healthcare institutes. Furthermore, doctors and nurses would not become occupied with fewer proportion of sick people. For instance, Covid-19 has approved that all countries not only developing but also developed ones did not invest vastly on prevention strategies. They are, therefore, dealing with allocating their treasure to invention of a proper vaccine as a cure to save people’s lives.

What’s more, the prevention strategies and free disease detection of tests should become available to public. At the personal level, individuals will save their lives and their money by easy access to free testing or prevention measures. Therefore, the workplaces can become healthier and individuals can spend their money on the other fields rather than treating illnesses, which could lead to an economic prosperity in the long run.

All things considered, health of a nation can be influenced greatly by investing more state budget on prevention strategies. The government ought to prioritize prevention measures rather than disease treatment. Personally, I believe that the expenses of facilitating individuals with prevention strategies and free disease testings will be recouped many times over by having a healthy nation.

277 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

December 16, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 7.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
8.0 sufficiently addresses all parts of the task
8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question
8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
8.0
Coherence and Cohesion
9.0 sequences information and ideas logically
8.0 manages all aspects of cohesion well
9.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
8.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
9.0 with full flexibility and accuracy
8.0 makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies
9.0 communication is completely natural
7.0
7.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The majority of errors are in the accurate use of vocabulary. A good practice is to create an error log to keep records of vocabulary errors in the context; the log must be revisited many times before the next IELTS writing practice.

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The age-old adage, "Prevention is better than cure," resonates more strongly than ever in today's world, where the cost of researching and treating diseases has reached unprecedented levels. I wholeheartedly agree with the view that investing in prevention measures is a wiser and more cost-effective approach.
To begin with, prevention measures are inherently more cost-efficient. Treating diseases, especially chronic conditions, can be financially crippling for individuals and healthcare systems. Preventing these diseases through strategies like immunization, health education, and lifestyle interventions is not only more affordable but also more humane, as it alleviates the suffering and financial burden on patients and their families.
Moreover, investing in prevention can save vast sums in healthcare expenditure in the long term. Preventable diseases place a heavy burden on healthcare resources, from hospitals to pharmaceuticals. By investing in public health programs and early detection, governments and healthcare systems can significantly reduce the financial strain and redirect resources to areas that need them the most.
Prevention measures also lead to a healthier and more productive workforce, benefiting the economy. Healthy individuals are more likely to contribute positively to society, participate in the workforce, and pay taxes, ultimately bolstering the nation's economic stability.
In conclusion, "Prevention is better than cure" is not just a saying; it is a well-founded principle. By investing in prevention measures, we not only save money but also improve public health, reduce the strain on healthcare systems, and promote economic well-being. Therefore, I firmly endorse the prioritization of prevention over the costly treatment of diseases.
253 words

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