IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3243 – Band 6.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Scientists believe that the world is in danger due to environmental changes. Some people say that personal lifestyle changes should be made to reduce the damage to environment, while others think that the government should do something to help.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

It is widely argued that the earth planet has drastically impacted by environmental and ecosystem alterations. While some people state that the environmental issues can be minimized by changing everyone’s lifestyle, others, myself included, believe that the main responsibility lies on government’s shoulders. In this following essay, I will discuss both these views.

On the one hand, some educationalists encourage public to using public transport rather than their personal vehicles. They can take public transport when they are commuting to the workplace. Therefore, the number of personal cars will be reduced on the streets and it can minimize the air pollution. Also, some people have been facilitated with the opportunity of working from home; it would be beneficial to stay at home and lessen their unnecessary travels.

On the other hand, the government can help more to reduce environmental issues and try to save the world. Local authorities and the government should impose “green taxes” on the people, companies and other polluters. They can fine people who are using their vehicles every single day instead of using bicycles and public transport. Also, government should facilitate people with better transportation, and they should invest vastly on keeping the buses and trains up-to-dated. Furthermore, the government can invest more on renewable energies such as solar, and wind power. Furthermore, all governments can improve recycling services and make it more accessible for the whole society.

To sum up, both individuals and the government are responsible to address climate change. Individuals should use more public transport and bicycles and the government should provide efficient transportation and put more value on applying renewable energies. Personally, I believe that the government and local authorities are more responsible to tackle the environment-related issues.

286 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

December 14, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 6.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
7.0 addresses all parts of the task
7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response
6.0 presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
7.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
7.0 they do not impede communication
7.0
6.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Each main idea must be properly developed. When we say “governments are MORE responsible” then where is our evidence of this being MORE than the other. To solve this, try thinking this superiority in 2 forms: quality or quantity. We need to convince the reader when A stands higher than B, are we talking about the quantity or quality. For instance, governments have MORE money, or governments have MORE advanced tools.

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The 6.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

In today's world, the dire consequences of environmental changes have become a pressing concern. Scientists warn that our planet is in grave danger, and the debate regarding how to address this issue is a topic of significant contention. Some argue that individuals should take responsibility for their actions and make personal lifestyle changes to mitigate environmental damage, while others advocate for government intervention. This essay will examine both perspectives and offer a personal opinion on the matter.
On the one hand, proponents of personal lifestyle changes contend that individuals hold the key to environmental preservation. They argue that adopting eco-friendly habits, such as reducing energy consumption, minimizing waste, and transitioning to sustainable transportation, can collectively make a substantial impact. By altering their behaviors and choices, people can contribute to the reduction of carbon emissions and the conservation of natural resources.
On the other hand, those favoring government intervention argue that systematic change requires a top-down approach. They assert that governments possess the power to implement policies and regulations that can lead to large-scale environmental improvements. Initiatives like carbon taxes, stricter emission standards, and investment in renewable energy sources can significantly curb environmental degradation.
In my view, the most effective strategy involves a combination of individual responsibility and government action. Individuals should embrace sustainable practices in their daily lives, but governments also play a crucial role in providing the necessary infrastructure and incentives to facilitate these changes. A symbiotic relationship between personal efforts and government policies is the most promising path towards a more environmentally sustainable future.
256 words

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