IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3242 – Band 6.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.

Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Arts and Entertainment, Sports and Leisure, Task 2 essay, Work and Employment, Writing samples, Writing topics

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

These days people have little time to debute to hobbies , which is a result of getting involved in working long hours and this situation has more drawbacks to advantages.

On the one hand, people who do not have enough time to do leisure activities might be tired during working days. As people work for long hours during day, they will need to do an activity except working to be relaxed. When they don’t have ample time for pleasure, it leads them to being tired the following day. This tiredness could be accumulated and became worse during the time. In addition, people who work long hours without doing leisure tactivities, could be depress. Because individuals do not have time to devote to hobbies which is essential for being happy, for example, playing a game in which individuals could be happy by amusing each other. Thus, they would have a sense of dissatisfaction and depression. Moreover, when people have little time to do leisure activities, they will suffer from overweight. As individuals work for long hours, they would become tired and depress. Such situation will affect on them to be lazy and have an tendency to follow a sedentary lifestyle without an activity, which is a significant factor for getting overweight.

On the other hand, working for long hours could have some benefits. People could save money which could be used in a way that it brings happiness. For example, for traveling. Besides, working for long hours could be useful for people to finish a project and getting a new one, which is essential for promotion. Although benefits are beneficial, it will be rejected by majority of people, as a result of having negative effects which outweigh their advantages.

In conclusion, having little time for leisure activities have more disadvantages to merits because it brings about tiredness, depression and overweight.

308 words

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

December 26, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 6.5 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

9.0 fully addresses all parts of the task

7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response

7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus

7.0

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0 logically organizes information and ideas

7.0 there is clear progression throughout

7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use

9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout

7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

7.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation

7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation

6.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences

7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors

6.0 errors rarely reduce communication

6.0

6.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Each single idea in the essay must receive enough development. Considering this, still, the essay is quite successful in arguing both sides and maintaining the core message throughout.

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The 6.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

In contemporary society, a substantial number of individuals find themselves working long hours, resulting in limited time for leisure activities. This phenomenon raises the question of whether the situation has more advantages or disadvantages. While some argue that extended work hours offer certain benefits, I firmly believe that the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages.

One of the key arguments in favor of long working hours is economic prosperity. For many, working longer hours can lead to increased income, financial stability, and the ability to achieve economic goals. This additional income may provide individuals and their families with a higher standard of living, improved access to education, and enhanced career opportunities. However, these financial benefits often come at a considerable cost.

On the other hand, the drawbacks of long working hours are manifold. First and foremost, it takes a toll on individuals' physical and mental well-being. Prolonged periods at work can result in burnout, stress, and a lack of work-life balance, leading to a decline in overall health. Moreover, it can strain personal relationships, as individuals may have little time to spend with family and friends, causing social isolation and emotional strain.

Furthermore, the lack of leisure time deprives individuals of opportunities for personal development and relaxation. Leisure activities provide a crucial avenue for stress relief, creativity, and personal growth. Without adequate leisure time, people may lead monotonous lives, with limited exposure to new experiences and personal fulfillment.

In conclusion, the disadvantages of working long hours far outweigh any potential advantages. While financial gains are important, they should not come at the expense of physical and mental health, personal development, and relationships. It is crucial for society to strike a balance between work and leisure to ensure the well-being and happiness of its members.

293 words

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