IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3237 – Band 5.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

In recent years, the youth has become more occupied and focused on their careers rather than teenagers. While many people adhere that the new young generation have more responsibilities along with greater problems leading to being less happy, others, myself included, believe that the adolescents are the happiest groups.

On the one hand, the adolescents have not entered the competitive job market yet, and they are not suffering from stress-related issues. Therefore, the lack of responsibilities and cheers them up. In addition, they are still bonded with their families and having a wide range of friends provide them a greater support both financially and emotionally. For instance, they tend to allocate ample time to hang out with their peers or spend their weekends at cinemas, restaurants and other public places.

On the other hand, young people are more tied up with their professional and personal life. At the professional level, the rival workplace forces them to strive and promote their current positions. In other words, earning a higher salary and receiving more financial privileges is always at the back of their mind. At the personal level, starting a family is a desire for most young people and they concentrate on becoming a great partner and even a dedicated parent through spending more time with them.

All things considered, Although the youth are more involved in their careers which leads to greater responsibilities for them and they should provide a wide range of support for their partners and their children instead of expecting it from their communities. The adolescents are not responsible not only in the job market but also in their personal life which provides them a happy and peaceful lifestyle.

281 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

December 11, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 5.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
5.0 addresses the task only partially; the format may be inappropriate in places
6.0 presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive
7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
6.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
5.0 that may cause some difficulty for the reader
5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do
8.0 makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies
5.0 errors can cause some difficulty for the reader
5.0
5.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The rubric is not just about young people; it is about “happiness” which must be analyzed between the young and the matured alike; the conclusion should clearly tell the reader which group feels happier. Evidently, there are many other approaches neither of which can be seen in this essay.

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The 5.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The debate surrounding whether the teenage years or adulthood holds the key to happiness is a subjective and complex matter. Both perspectives carry valid arguments, but I firmly believe that adult life offers a greater potential for happiness, despite its increased responsibilities.
It is often claimed that the teenage years are the happiest times in a person's life. Advocates of this viewpoint argue that teenagers enjoy a sense of freedom and spontaneity that might be less attainable in later stages of life. Adolescents often have fewer responsibilities, enabling them to explore their interests and build friendships without the burdens of bills, jobs, or family commitments. These carefree years can indeed be a time of joy, self-discovery, and personal growth.
On the other hand, adult life, with its heightened responsibilities, also offers unique opportunities for happiness. Adults tend to have a greater sense of independence and autonomy, which can be empowering. They have the freedom to make choices and pursue their passions with the benefit of more resources and life experiences. For many, building a career, establishing a family, and achieving personal goals are deeply fulfilling, providing a profound sense of purpose and contentment.
Furthermore, adulthood often brings the ability to make long-lasting and meaningful connections, such as marriage and parenthood. These relationships can be a tremendous source of joy and satisfaction, allowing individuals to experience profound love, companionship, and shared achievements.
In conclusion, while the teenage years may be characterized by carefree moments, adult life offers more substantial and enduring opportunities for happiness. It provides individuals with the capacity to navigate their responsibilities, make significant life choices, and foster meaningful relationships that contribute to their overall well-being. Thus, I firmly stand with those who believe that adult life brings more happiness.
291 words

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