IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3236 – Band 6.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Economy and Business, Policies and Government, Task 2 essay, Writing samples

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Economic growth is perceived to be the main part to play role in society by many governments. Some citizens argue that, attention should be payed equally to other measures of progress. Both sides provide valid reasons for their assertion which will be discussed separately, and followed by my own view.

Economic, is said to be a cornerstone of flourishing nations which its far-reaching effects can be seen in many aspects of life; education, fundamental infrastructures and job creation to name but a few. That is to say, an economic vitality will automatically give rise to a higher standards of living, by resulting in abundant high salary employment opportunities in society. The higher income, the more freedom is brought about to enjoy of purchasing more goods and services; choice to buy a luxury house and fashionable clothes, for example, or spend holiday wherever a person wants. Also success of countries in the world is considered based on their economic developments.

The opposing view asserts that, other types of development are as significance as economic improvement. One of the most compelling reasons for their claim is that, if attention is not paid to other pressing matters in country, people would not be able to take advantage of growth. Human right, social justice, democracy and equality should be emphasized equally to build a developed country. Wealthy dictator governments, are vivid examples of lack of attention to human right and social justice; their citizens do not have freedom to get pleasure of their many choices of living as they are dictated what to wear and what to do.

Although there are rational arguments on both sides of the controversy, I believe that, all types of development should be equally emphasized; social matters and economic growth. This would enable all class citizens to utilize wide range of facilities and services irrespective of their gender and race.

311 words

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

December 13, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

7.0 addresses all parts of the task

7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response

7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus

7.0

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0 logically organizes information and ideas

7.0 there is clear progression throughout

7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

6.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy

6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation

6.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0 uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms

6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do

6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation

6.0 errors rarely reduce communication

6.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. There are multiple punctuation and article (referencing) errors. The nature of errors is not very significant, but repetition of errors can harm the essay.

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The role of governments in prioritizing economic progress as their foremost objective is a matter of ongoing debate. While economic growth is undeniably significant, I firmly believe that other forms of progress, such as social well-being and environmental sustainability, are equally crucial for the holistic development of a nation.

Governments often emphasize economic progress as it is commonly perceived as the engine driving a nation forward. Economic growth leads to increased income, job opportunities, and overall prosperity for the citizens. It enables governments to fund essential public services, infrastructure development, and social welfare programs. Moreover, a robust economy enhances a country's global standing and competitive edge on the international stage.

However, the relentless pursuit of economic progress can lead to various challenges. It may inadvertently exacerbate income inequality and social disparities, creating a divide between the wealthy and the marginalized. Additionally, unchecked industrialization and resource exploitation can result in environmental degradation, threatening the planet's sustainability and well-being.

In contrast, a more balanced approach, focusing on other types of progress, is equally important. Social development, encompassing access to healthcare, quality education, and reduced poverty rates, is indispensable for creating a just and equitable society. Ensuring environmental sustainability through responsible resource management and mitigating climate change is vital for the long-term health of the planet and the prosperity of future generations.

Moreover, holistic progress enhances citizens' overall quality of life, fostering happiness and well-being. A society with a strong social fabric and a healthy environment tends to be more cohesive and resilient, offering a high standard of living for its inhabitants.

In conclusion, while economic progress is pivotal, governments must not prioritize it to the exclusion of other forms of development. A more comprehensive approach that focuses on social well-being and environmental sustainability is essential to ensure a prosperous, just, and harmonious nation. In my opinion, the balanced pursuit of economic, social, and environmental progress is the key to national development.

319 words