IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3233 – Band 7.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits.
Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

In recent years, many people are engaged in becoming famous in each society and they are striving hard to reach the popularity among other people. This fires up a heated controversy over whether this experience produces more benefits or drawbacks. In the following essay, I will weigh up both positive and negative sides.

Let’s begin by looking at the advantages of being a celebrity. All walks of life tend to look up to the famous people who are attracting the public attention. In other words, the celebrities will captivate the central attention everywhere, as humans want to prioritize and respect them. Most famous people are well-off, and their annual earnings are more than doctors or engineers. Their social profile attracts youth and encourage them to follow the celebrities’ path. Therefore, celebrities make attempts to become more famous, attract more groups of young people and gain a lot of money.

Turning to the other side of the argument, privacy violation is the most significant drawbacks of being a celebrity. Their popularity would not allow them to spend ample time with their families without any disturbance while they are at the restaurant or other public places. Because once people bump into any celebrities, they want to take a picture with them or talk with them, that’s why. Therefore, famous people have to be friendly and welcoming while they show up in the public places.

All things considered, although there are inherent drawbacks in becoming a film or sport star, especially invasion of privacy; I believe it is more advantageous due to gaining public attention and higher earnings such developments offer.

268 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

December 9, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 7.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. There are no major errors, just some minor errors which do not affect the reader’s understanding of the essay. The essay needs more attention towards collocations; they make structures more natural.

Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
9.0 fully addresses all parts of the task
8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question
8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
8.0
Coherence and Cohesion
9.0 sequences information and ideas logically
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
7.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
7.0 they do not impede communication
7.0
7.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. There are no major errors, just some minor errors which do not affect the reader’s understanding of the essay. The essay needs more attention towards collocations; they make structures more natural.

The IELTS Assessor

Kasra Sharifan

Kasra Sharifan

Co-founder and CFO

British Council certified English teacher, IDP-trained IELTS instructor, content writer, editor-in-chief, co-founder, and Chief Financial Officer (CFO) at IELTS Juice Online Academy.

An Above 7.0 Sample

The question of whether being a celebrity, such as a famous film star or sports personality, yields more benefits or problems has sparked considerable debate. While there are undoubtedly challenges associated with celebrity status, I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
To begin, celebrities enjoy a multitude of benefits. One primary advantage is the financial reward that comes with their fame. Celebrities typically earn significantly higher incomes than the average person, allowing them to lead a more comfortable and luxurious lifestyle. Furthermore, their influence can be harnessed for philanthropic endeavors and social causes, making a positive impact on society.
Another advantage is the access to exclusive opportunities. Celebrities often receive invitations to high-profile events, private parties, and collaborations with prestigious brands. This exposure can lead to personal and professional growth, broadening their horizons and networks.
However, it is essential to acknowledge the challenges celebrities face. Privacy invasion is a significant concern, as their personal lives become subjects of intense scrutiny by the media and the public. This constant attention can lead to a loss of personal space and emotional distress. Moreover, the pressure to maintain their image and public persona can be overwhelming, often resulting in mental health issues, such as anxiety and depression.
Nonetheless, despite the undeniable challenges that celebrities face, the benefits they enjoy are more substantial. Their financial security, influence, and access to exclusive opportunities far outweigh the drawbacks. Moreover, many celebrities use their status to contribute positively to society, making their role in the world even more invaluable. Thus, being a celebrity is, in my opinion, associated with more benefits than problems.
267 words

Read similar samples

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

$59
IELTS Listening Course

IELTS Listening

Best approaches to each part of the IELTS Listening test

$79

IELTS Reading

All the strategies you need for success in IELTS reading

$99
IELTS writing

IELTS Writing

How to write letters, reports & essays based on IELTS criteria

$49
IELTS Speaking

IELTS Speaking

Top tips and speaking practice materials for the three parts

$19

IELTS Essential Words

Absolutely essential words for the IELTS test

Free

What’s IELTS

An introductory course providing an overview of the IELTS test and format.

Free

One Word or Two

Focusing on words that may appear to be composed of two separate parts but are, in fact, written as a single word.