IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3227 – Band 6.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. 
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

It is true that some people believe that children should study at single-sex schools. I completely disagree with this view, and would argue that attending mixed classes will have a profound positive impact both on children themselves and society.

In my view, sex-based school segregation would adversely influence children’s personality, their learning abilities, and consequently, their future personal lives. Almost every one of us has numerous relationships with the opposite sex, and therefore, having a clear understanding of behavioural and psychological differences between men and women plays a key role in our quality of life. I believe that if we separate children’s education based on their gender, we have taken a golden opportunity away from them, so that they may not understand these inherent differences, and this could lead to socially immature personalities in their adulthood. On the other hand, we, as humans, are intrinsically attracted to the opposite sex, and this attraction can cause motivation and constructive competition both of which have proven positive effects on children’s learning process. In other words, I believe, the more we isolate boys and girls from each other, the less the quality of their education will become.

I would also argue that mixed schools can improve social equality and people’s living standards. Sexual discrimination has always been one of the most damaging problems of humans’ societies. Children will learn many social skills, including respecting various needs of the opposite sex, through their interactions with their classmates who have different genders, and this is an effective step on the path to a society in which men and women are treated equally. In such a just society people, especially women, will have more opportunities to put their potentials in practice. It is obvious that People’s quality of life will be on a fast and continuous improvement in such a society.

In conclusion, I am convinced that single-sex schools decrease the quality of children’s education, while mixed schools have a positive impact on children’s personality and on our society.

333 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

December 4, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 6.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
5.0 addresses the task only partially; the format may be inappropriate in places
8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question
8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
5.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
8.0 manages all aspects of cohesion well
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
7.0
Lexical Resource
9.0 uses a wide range of vocabulary
8.0 skillfully uses uncommon lexical items but there may be occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation
8.0 produces rare errors in spelling and/or word formation
9.0 the communication is completely natural
8.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
8.0 the majority of sentences are error-free
8.0 makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies
9.0 communication is completely natural
7.0
6.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Although the writer’s opinion is perfectly well argued, sadly, this viewpoint remains the single dominant idea throughout the essay; it clearly contradicts what the rubric asks us: to “Discuss both these views …” These 2 ideas need development; even when the writer sides with one party, the other party deserves a full paragraph with enough development of their agenda.

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The 6.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The debate over whether to educate boys and girls in separate schools or mixed-gender schools is a longstanding one. Proponents of single-sex education argue that it offers advantages such as improved focus and tailored teaching methods, while advocates of mixed schools contend that they better prepare students for real-world interactions and promote gender equality. In my view, mixed-gender education has more benefits, as it fosters holistic development and encourages gender equality.
Supporters of single-sex education argue that it allows schools to tailor teaching methods to gender-specific learning styles. This can be especially beneficial in subjects where traditional gender stereotypes have affected performance. For instance, some believe that separate schools can counteract biases and help girls excel in STEM fields, i.e. science, technology, engineering and mathematics.
Conversely, mixed-gender schools promote social interaction and prepare students for a diverse and inclusive society. In the real world, people must collaborate and interact with individuals of all genders. Attending mixed schools from a young age can help students develop important social and interpersonal skills.
Moreover, mixed schools can play a crucial role in fostering gender equality. They help break down stereotypes and promote a culture of respect and equality between genders. The shared educational experience can contribute to students developing a more equitable outlook on life.
In conclusion, while single-sex education may have some advantages, mixed-gender schools offer a more comprehensive and balanced educational experience. They prepare students for the realities of social interaction and contribute to gender equality, making them a better choice for holistic development.
253 words

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