IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3220 – Band 8.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

In education and employment, some people work harder than others.
Why do some people work harder?
Is it always a good thing to work hard?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

It is undeniable that hard work plays a key role in success, and, in my opinion, this is probably the main motive for most diligent people to put more time and effort into their duties. However, I also believe that working too hard can have a negative impact on our personal and social lives.

Hard-working people tend to have either different personal traits or goals from their peers. Some people are more dedicated to their work than their colleagues simply because they feel more committed to their responsibilities. This group of people, who nowadays are a rare breed, do not look for anything in return for the extra time and effort that they put into their duties. However, in my opinion, the factor that encourages people the most to try harder is their insatiable hunger for progress in their careers or education. These individuals believe that the more they try, the more they get, and I view this as a true outlook that has been the fountain of most of the human’s technological and scientific achievements.

Alongside the essential role that hard work has in our success, it can certainly cause some discomfort or even damages to our lives. Firstly, if we have a hectic work schedule, we will not have enough free time to spend on our favourite pastimes, and therefore our lives will become less joyful. Furthermore, working too hard could isolate us from society and lead to personality disorders like depression. Perhaps most importantly, devoting excessive time to our occupations usually means that we have less time to dedicate to our families, which may damage the foundation of family, as the most important unit of society. In other words, spending too much time on a job would probably decrease our quality of life.

In conclusion, although diligence is often known as a positive trait that leads us to success, we should not overlook the possible harm that working too hard can bring to our lives.

326 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

February 28, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 8.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
9.0 fully addresses all parts of the task
9.0 presents a fully developed position in answer to the question
9.0 with relevant, fully extended, and well-supported ideas
9.0
Coherence and Cohesion
9.0 sequences information and ideas logically
8.0 manages all aspects of cohesion well
9.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
8.0
Lexical Resource
9.0 uses a wide range of vocabulary
9.0 with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features
9.0 rare minor errors occur only as ‘slips’
9.0 the communication is completely natural
9.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
9.0 uses a wide range of structures
9.0 with full flexibility and accuracy
8.0 makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies
9.0 communication is completely natural
8.0
8.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. It is almost perfect.

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Another Above 7.0 Sample

In the realms of education and employment, disparities in work ethic and effort are readily observable. Some individuals consistently put in more effort than others, and this phenomenon is attributed to various factors. While hard work is often seen as a positive attribute, its implications and desirability vary depending on the context. This essay will delve into the reasons why some people work harder, and it will explore whether working hard is always a good thing.
Several factors contribute to why some individuals work harder than others. Firstly, personal motivation plays a crucial role. Those who are intrinsically driven by a passion for their work or a strong desire to achieve their goals tend to put in more effort. Additionally, external factors such as competition, peer pressure, and societal expectations can compel individuals to work harder to meet certain standards or expectations.
Moreover, one's upbringing and cultural background can influence their work ethic. Cultural values and parental guidance often shape an individual's perspective on hard work and diligence. In some cultures, the importance of diligence and perseverance is deeply ingrained, motivating people to work harder.
However, whether working hard is always a good thing depends on the context. In education, working hard is generally advantageous as it leads to better academic performance and opportunities for personal growth. In the realm of employment, hard work is often rewarded with career advancement and financial stability.
Nevertheless, excessive or misdirected hard work can have negative consequences. Overworking, often referred to as burnout, can lead to physical and mental health issues. It can also strain personal relationships and result in a diminished quality of life.
In conclusion, some people work harder in education and employment due to various factors such as motivation, upbringing, and cultural influences. While hard work is usually beneficial, its desirability depends on the context, and excessive hard work can have adverse effects. Striking a balance between dedication and maintaining one's well-being is essential for a fulfilling and successful life.
329 words

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