IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3215 – Band 7.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature and history of their own country, rather than the literature and history of other countries.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

It is true that literature and history are two key areas in children education. While I accept that teaching our national history to children is of crucial importance, I would also argue that we should not overlook the key role of other nations’ history in children education.

It is often said that the history of every nation plays a major role in their social identity. Our common culture and customs, as a nation, can unite us, and encourage us to make our best efforts to move towards development. Furthermore, it is through our own history that we can understand our chronic social problems and try to find solutions to them. For example, we, as Iranians, need to educate our children about the fact that our society has always been a tribal society in which we have always overemphasized our race, and this has hindered our country from sustainable development. It is obvious that the more our children become aware of this issue, the more they will focus on the unity of their society in the future.

On the other hand, world history can certainly be used to decrease the clash of culture between different nations. I personally believe that chauvinism is a result of being ignorant to the history, literature, culture, and customs of other nations. Therefore, when our children get to know about other countries history, they start appreciating other people’s essential role in the development of human society, and consequently they will respect other nations’ cultures. I believe that teaching the world history to our children is a significant and profound step towards global peace.

In conclusion, I am convinced that our own history teaches our children what the reality of our society is, while learning about other nations’ history helps them develop a more peaceful personality.

299 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

November 18, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 7.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
7.0 addresses all parts of the task
7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response
7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus
7.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
7.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
8.0 skillfully uses uncommon lexical items but there may be occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation
8.0 produces rare errors in spelling and/or word formation
9.0 the communication is completely natural
7.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences
8.0 makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies
7.0 they do not impede communication
7.0
7.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The focus is too much on history while there is very little left for literature.

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The question of whether to prioritize teaching children the literature and history of their own country over that of other nations is a subject of considerable debate. While some argue for a strong emphasis on national education, I believe that a balanced approach, including global perspectives, is essential to prepare children for an interconnected world.
Advocates for a national-centric curriculum argue that a deep understanding of a country's history, culture, and literature instills a sense of identity and pride in young learners. It helps them connect with their heritage, values, and the experiences of their ancestors, fostering a stronger national identity. By focusing on their own nation's history and literature, they argue that children are better equipped to contribute to their society and appreciate its unique qualities.
However, an exclusively inward-looking approach has its limitations. In today's globalized world, interconnectedness is the norm. Encouraging children to explore the literature and history of other countries broadens their horizons, fosters cultural sensitivity, and enhances their ability to engage with the world. Understanding the history and literature of other nations promotes tolerance, critical thinking, and empathy, which are vital qualities in a global society.
In conclusion, I believe that striking a balance between teaching a child about their own country's literature and history and that of other nations is paramount. This dual approach ensures that students gain a strong sense of national identity while also acquiring the global perspective and skills necessary to navigate an increasingly interconnected world. An inclusive and balanced education system empowers children to appreciate their roots while remaining open-minded, culturally aware, and adaptable in a diverse and interconnected society.
292 words

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