IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3211 – Band 6.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities.
Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

These days people have to work long hours and could attribute little time to leisure activities. These conditions will have more drawbacks than privileges and i will explain them here.

On the one hand, people who could not give extra time to leisure activities, will be tired and anxious during the week. As working for long hours individuals do not have time to plan for hobbies and interests, which are significant for them to relieve their tension, cause them to have tiredness and be under pressure for not being able to relax. Thus, they tolerate the pressure everyday, and it accumulates during the week with anxiety and tiredness. In addition, people who would not attribute a lot of time to leisure activities won’t be happy. As working for long hours lead people to involving into serious affairs which are related to work without any time for refresh, they could not spend their time for having fun and dealing with light works which happen in leisure time. As a result, they would be unhappy and suffer from the lack of satisfaction. Moreover, the output of work would be decreased. In leisure time people recharge their batteries which lead them to being more energetic for starting their work. If employees can not leave a great deal of time to leisure activity, they would not do their best for having optimistic status at work.

On the other hand, leaving little time for leisure works, means that they would have to work more than others, and they would make a great of money which is an advantage. Also they could spend more money for the welfare of their family than spending on leisure activities.

Although, these advantages are significant for some of people, it could not continue for long time because of physical problems which are related to working for long hours, and having lack of time for relaxation.

Hence, these advantages will be rejected as a result of having grave consequence.

In conclusion, having little time for paying to interest would have negative effects for people, which outweigh the advantages of it.

349 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

November 26, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 6.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
7.0 addresses all parts of the task
7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response
7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus
7.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
6.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
7.0 they do not impede communication
7.0
6.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The essay clearly lacks examples; it is important because without examples, many arguments will remain generic and not focused.

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The 6.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

In today's fast-paced world, the issue of people working long hours, often leaving little time for leisure activities, has become increasingly prevalent. This phenomenon has both advantages and disadvantages, and its impact varies depending on individual circumstances.
One of the primary advantages of working long hours is the potential for career advancement and financial stability. Many individuals believe that putting in extra hours at work can lead to promotions, salary increases, and job security. This can be particularly beneficial in a competitive job market where career growth is highly valued.
However, this dedication to work also comes with several disadvantages. Firstly, it can lead to burnout and negatively affect an individual's physical and mental well-being. The lack of time for leisure activities can result in increased stress, decreased quality of life, and strained relationships. Additionally, an excessive focus on work may hinder personal growth and limit the development of hobbies or interests outside of one's profession.
Furthermore, the imbalance between work and leisure can have broader societal implications. It may contribute to a culture of overwork and perpetuate the idea that success is solely defined by one's career achievements, neglecting the importance of a balanced and fulfilling life.
In conclusion, the situation of people working long hours has both advantages and disadvantages. While it may lead to career success and financial stability, it also carries the risk of burnout, reduced well-being, and an unbalanced life. Striking a balance between work and leisure is crucial for a fulfilling and healthy life.
250 words

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