IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3210 – Band 6.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping.

Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Economy and Business, Policies and Government, Society and Community, Task 2 essay, Writing samples

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

As time goes by, individuals tend to purchase their required stuff from shopping malls rather than local stores. This trend could be resulted to closure of many small stores. While this transition could be considered as a positive development not only for customers but also for the owners of large shopping malls, the owners of local stores would go bankrupt and lose their small businesses.

On the one hand, shopping malls located at the heart of cities with various options which facilitate people to travel one location. Moreover, shopping centers or malls will provide a wide range of options for people which are more affordable compared to the local stores. Various options for purchasing enables individuals to make an informed choice when they are trying to buy groceries or clothes. For instance, Walmart and Super Store are two prominent grocery stores in North America which are extremely attractive to customers due to various and more affordable options.

On the other hand, People could support the store which are in close proximity to their homes due to their sense of nostalgia. Furthermore, the local stores run by some individuals and they tend to be supported by people who live close by. However, the owners of these stores find a fierce competition in the market with shopping centers. Because most shopping centers are better-off, and they can offer a wide range of inexpensive products compared to the local ones.

To sum up, having large shopping malls in different cities could be considered as a positive development due to offering various stuff. Personally, I believe that purchasing from small local stores enables individuals to reminisce their past times as they were buying different stuff from them before the advent of shopping malls

289 words

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

November 12, 2023

This is an IELTS writing band 6.5 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

7.0 addresses all parts of the task

7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response

7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus

7.0

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0 logically organizes information and ideas

7.0 there is clear progression throughout

7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use

9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout

7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

7.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation

7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation

9.0 the communication is completely natural

7.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences

7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors

6.0 errors rarely reduce communication

6.0

6.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. On a grammar note, there is overuse of relative clauses which seems rather excessive. There are some unfinished or hanging complex sentences which leaves the door open to multiple interpretation; this is a serious blow to the reader’s comprehension.

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The 6.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

In recent years, the closure of many small local shops due to customers flocking to large shopping centers or malls has become a prevalent trend. This development has sparked debates about whether it is a positive or negative phenomenon. In this essay, I will examine both sides of the argument and provide my perspective on the matter.

On the positive side, the rise of large shopping centers and malls can bring several advantages. Firstly, they often offer a more extensive range of products and services under one roof, providing customers with convenience and variety. Shoppers can find everything they need in one place, reducing the need to visit multiple smaller shops, which can be time-consuming and less efficient. Moreover, these large establishments may generate employment opportunities, benefiting the local economy.

Additionally, large shopping centers can be seen as hubs of social interaction and community engagement. They offer spaces for people to meet, socialize, and participate in recreational activities. These spaces often host events, exhibitions, and entertainment options, enhancing the overall shopping experience and fostering a sense of community.

However, the closure of small local shops also has negative consequences. Firstly, it can lead to the loss of unique and specialized businesses that contribute to the local culture and identity. Small shops often offer personalized services and unique products that may not be easily replaced by larger establishments. The disappearance of these local businesses can result in a loss of diversity in the shopping landscape.

Furthermore, the closure of small local shops can have a detrimental effect on employment at the community level. When small businesses shut down, jobs are lost, and local economies may suffer. Small shop owners and employees may find it challenging to compete in the job market against larger retail chains.

In my view, the trend of small shop closures due to the popularity of large shopping centers represents a mixed development. While the convenience, variety, and social opportunities provided by large malls are advantageous, the loss of small businesses and potential negative impacts on employment and local culture should not be overlooked.

In conclusion, the closure of small local shops as a result of customers patronizing large shopping centers or malls can have both positive and negative consequences. The overall impact depends on various factors, including the strength of the local economy, the uniqueness of small businesses, and the preferences of the community. Striking a balance between the two retail models may be the key to maintaining a thriving shopping ecosystem.

415 words

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