IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3148 – Band 7.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people believe that all children should have a pet or an animal to look after. Other people disagree, however, saying that this depends on a child’s circumstances.
Consider these opposing views, and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Nowadays, the subject of whether it is an absolute necessity for children to possess a domestic animal or not is highly contentious in a way that has provoked heated arguments among its opponents and proponents. Nevertheless, there are rational justifications on both sides of this topical debate which will be discussed in details, followed by a concluding view on the matter.

On the one hand, the supporters of pet ownership point out that those children who take care of pets are more likely to take in some valuable skills, including patience and responsibility which are incredibly beneficial for their future. For instance, training a pet can be a lesson in patience since they will not act as children’s wish all the time, or even feeding and bathing them regularly can foster children’s sense of responsibility. Moreover, it is often stated that pets help kids to lead an active and healthy lifestyle, particularly in today’s technologically-focused world that children immerse themselves in watching television or playing video games non-stop.

On the other hand, those who are opposed to this mindset highlight the huge financial burden accrued from owning a pet. In other words, maintaining pets imposes enormous expenses on families which range from veterinary costs to their foods; consequently, not many families are able to bear such expenditures. Additionally, the time involved in looking after them is worth taking into account. That is to say, a massive amount of time is required for nurturing them, and it is blatantly obvious that they are parents who need to take most of the heat; therefore, if parents are tied up, they fail to live up to this responsibility.

To conclude, it would appear that children can benefit considerably form keeping a pet, from mastering some absolutely essential skills to avoiding a sedentary life, provided that their families can meet the cost of health care and medical care of pets as well as the time entailed protecting them.

324 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

February 29, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 7.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
9.0 fully addresses all parts of the task
8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question
8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
8.0
Coherence and Cohesion
9.0 sequences information and ideas logically
8.0 manages all aspects of cohesion well
9.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
8.0
Lexical Resource
9.0 uses a wide range of vocabulary
8.0 skillfully uses uncommon lexical items but there may be occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation
8.0 produces rare errors in spelling and/or word formation
9.0 the communication is completely natural
8.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
9.0 uses a wide range of structures
8.0 the majority of sentences are error-free
8.0 makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies
6.0 errors rarely reduce communication
6.0
7.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Task Response (TR): The response effectively addresses the prompt by presenting both sides of the argument regarding whether children should have a pet. The writer explores the advantages of pet ownership as well as the opposing view related to financial and time constraints. A clear and well-structured conclusion is provided, summarizing the key points and offering a balanced perspective, but the writer’s opinion must be clearly stated.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC): The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. There is a logical progression of ideas, and the writer effectively uses cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs. However, there could be slight improvement in the transition between the two main points of view to enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource (LR): The writer demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with well-chosen words and phrases. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, contributing to a nuanced expression of ideas. While the vocabulary is generally strong, there is room for a bit more variety and precision in word choice.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Sentence structures are varied, and the writer attempts to use complex sentences. There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that slightly impact fluency. Some sentences could be refined for better clarity and grammatical accuracy.

Overall, this is a well-constructed essay that effectively discusses the opposing views on whether children should have a pet. The response demonstrates a good command of language, but further refinement in vocabulary and grammatical accuracy could contribute to a higher band score.

Video Feedback

IELTS Juice YouTube Channel

IELTS Juice

IELTS Juice is brought to you by Juice Academy, registered in ‌British Columbia, Canada. On this channel, experienced English teachers and IELTS experts provide lessons, tips, and guidance to help you improve your English and achieve the best results in the IELTS exam.

The IELTS Assessor

Kasra Sharifan

Kasra Sharifan

Co-founder and CFO

British Council certified English teacher, IDP-trained IELTS instructor, content writer, editor-in-chief, co-founder, and Chief Financial Officer (CFO) at IELTS Juice Online Academy.

Another Above 7.0 Sample

The debate regarding whether every child should have a pet or if this depends on individual circumstances remains contentious. Advocates of pet ownership for all children argue that it fosters responsibility, empathy, and companionship. They assert that caring for a pet instills essential values, such as nurturing, commitment, and compassion, which are beneficial for a child's emotional and social development. Additionally, having a pet can offer companionship, particularly for children in single-child households, aiding in their emotional well-being.
Conversely, opponents of this view stress that not all children possess the necessary environment, resources, or maturity to responsibly care for a pet. Factors such as family dynamics, living space, financial stability, and the child's age should be considered. In some situations, a child's circumstances may not be conducive to pet ownership due to allergies, housing restrictions, or parental capacity to oversee the pet's care.
In my perspective, while the merits of pet ownership for children are evident, it's crucial to consider individual circumstances. While some children may thrive with a pet, others might not have the appropriate conditions or readiness to take on such responsibilities. Instead of a universal mandate for pet ownership, families should assess their unique circumstances before introducing a pet into their home. Parents should evaluate the child's age, maturity, living situation, and the family's ability to care for the pet, ensuring a nurturing environment that supports both the child and the animal's well-being.
Ultimately, while pet ownership can be enriching, it's essential to tailor this decision based on the child's individual circumstances and the family's capacity to provide proper care and support for the pet.
268 words

Read similar samples


$59
IELTS Listening Course

IELTS Listening

Best approaches to each part of the IELTS Listening test

$79

IELTS Reading

All the strategies you need for success in IELTS reading

$99
IELTS writing

IELTS Writing

How to write letters, reports & essays based on IELTS criteria

$49
IELTS Speaking

IELTS Speaking

Top tips and speaking practice materials for the three parts

$19

IELTS Vocabulary

Master essential vocabulary for success in the IELTS test

Free

What’s IELTS

Have an overview of the IELTS test format & structure

Free

One Word or Two

Master words that look like one but are two, or vice versa