IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3138 – Band 6.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets, there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

There is no doubt that nowadays online streaming is more popular than the classic ways of watching movies e.g. going to cinemas. While some people agree that watching films on the digital devices like tablets and smart phones is easier, others believe that watching films on the screen still has more joy. In this essay I will discuss both sides of the argument and explore my support of the latter view.

It is true that watching films on digital devices has become popular. They are easily accessible for everyone and it’s easy to use them everywhere. People can watch films whether in their bed or on the bus on the way to work. Furthermore, they have the option to easily choose between the variety of sources of different types of movies and they can buy or rent them online on their device. That’s why some people decide to watch films on their mobile or tablet.

On the other hand, watching films in the cinemas still has the joy. People can watch films months before they are released for digital streaming. They also have the option to watch the films in theaters that offer high-end audio and video technologies e.g. IMAX, digital 3D, Dolby Atmos, etc. None of these are accesible on digital devices. The drawbacks of cinemas is that the tickets are getting so expensive and in some areas they are not easily accessible and people need to commute to get to them.

To sum up, also many believe that watching films on portable devices is easier, my firm belief is that the supporters of the idea that watching films in the cinemas is more enjoyable, have the upper hand on this topic.

283 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

March 27, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Task Response (TR):
You have effectively addressed the task by discussing both views regarding the experience of watching movies on digital devices versus in cinemas. Your personal opinion is clearly stated at the end of the essay, aligning with the requirement of the task. However, to strengthen your argument, it would be beneficial to provide more detailed examples or evidence to support your points.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Phrases like "On the other hand" and "To sum up" are used effectively, but additional linking phrases could enhance the flow of your argument.

Lexical Resource (LR):
You have used a good range of vocabulary appropriate to the topic, such as "digital streaming," "IMAX," "Dolby Atmos," etc. However, watch out for repetitive phrases and consider using synonyms to vary your language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy GRA):
Your grammar is generally good, but there are minor errors. For example, "the cinemas still has the joy" would be more grammatically correct as "watching films in cinemas still holds joy." Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage.


Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
7.0 addresses all parts of the task
7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response
6.0 presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
6.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
9.0 the communication is completely natural
7.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
8.0 the majority of sentences are error-free
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
7.0 they do not impede communication
7.0
6.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Task Response (TR):
You have effectively addressed the task by discussing both views regarding the experience of watching movies on digital devices versus in cinemas. Your personal opinion is clearly stated at the end of the essay, aligning with the requirement of the task. However, to strengthen your argument, it would be beneficial to provide more detailed examples or evidence to support your points.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Phrases like "On the other hand" and "To sum up" are used effectively, but additional linking phrases could enhance the flow of your argument.

Lexical Resource (LR):
You have used a good range of vocabulary appropriate to the topic, such as "digital streaming," "IMAX," "Dolby Atmos," etc. However, watch out for repetitive phrases and consider using synonyms to vary your language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy GRA):
Your grammar is generally good, but there are minor errors. For example, "the cinemas still has the joy" would be more grammatically correct as "watching films in cinemas still holds joy." Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage.

Video Feedback

The IELTS Assessor

Kasra Sharifan

Kasra Sharifan

Co-founder and CFO

British Council certified English teacher, IDP-trained IELTS instructor, content writer, editor-in-chief, co-founder, and Chief Financial Officer (CFO) at IELTS Juice Online Academy.

An Above 7.0 Sample

The advent of technology has revolutionized how we access and enjoy films. While some argue that the convenience of watching movies on phones or tablets obviates the need for cinemas, others contend that the true cinematic experience can only be attained in theaters. Both perspectives present compelling arguments regarding the viewing experience.
Supporters of mobile viewing advocate for the accessibility and flexibility it offers. The convenience of streaming films on handheld devices allows viewers to watch at their convenience, anytime and anywhere. Moreover, the personalized setting enables a comfortable and private viewing experience without the distractions inherent in crowded cinemas.
On the contrary, proponents of cinema viewing emphasize the immersive and collective aspect of the theater experience. The big screen, high-quality sound systems, and captivating ambiance create an environment conducive to fully immersing oneself in the movie. Additionally, the shared experience with an audience enhances emotional resonance, creating a sense of communal enjoyment.
In my opinion, while mobile devices offer convenience, the cinematic experience in theaters remains unparalleled. The grandeur of the big screen and superior sound quality enhance the visual and auditory impact of films, intensifying the emotional connection. Furthermore, the collective experience of watching alongside a diverse audience adds to the enjoyment and shared appreciation of the art form.
In conclusion, the accessibility of films on personal devices provides convenience, yet the unique cinematic ambiance of theaters offers an irreplaceable viewing experience. While technological advancements offer flexibility, the magic of the cinema, with its immersive qualities and communal atmosphere, continues to hold a special place in the realm of film enjoyment.
263 words

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