IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3133 – Band 7.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people believe that technology has made man more social and others think that it has made him less social.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

There is a belief which says usage of technology in daily life has made people more social while some think that technology has made people isolated and less social. It seems that technology has helped people to be more social. Bothe views will be discussed in the following paragraphs.

To begin with, the growth of social media and the widespread usage of different applications such as Facebook have affected the way people make friends nowadays. They can easily find new friends with same interest via social media network. To illustrate this, people can find new friends who have the same hobbies via internet and obviously, this has caused people to have more friends and be more social. Furthermore, technology has eased the process of communication since it enables people to simply keep in touch with their friends via internet. People can send messages to their friends and family all over the word using message based applications like Whatsapp. For instance, without technology people may not talk to their friends regularly and they also barley can visit each other since they are all busy. With the help of technology, people have the chance to constantly talk and message to their relatives and buddies and be active in their social life.

However, some have the idea that the widespread usage of technology in daily life has made people isolated. People often prefer to spend their time on the internet and visit different websites such as YouTube instead of spending some quality time with their family. For example, teenagers prefer to stay at their room and spend their time on the internet using their smart devices instead of attending a family reunion. Thus, people used to speak with each other in public places but nowadays with the presence of the internet everywhere they tend to use their smartphone instead of starting a conversation with other people. This has result in less social people in society. For instance, people who spend evenings in a cozy café used to speak to each other about different things but nowadays they prefer to use their smartphone instead.

To sum up, many people including me think that technology has a direct impact on social life of people and it has helped people to use it for communicating. Some have the idea that the usage of technology in everyday life has made people more isolated and less social.

399 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

February 4, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 7.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
8.0 sufficiently addresses all parts of the task
8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question
8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
8.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
6.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
9.0 the communication is completely natural
7.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
7.0 they do not impede communication
7.0
7.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Both views are effectively discussed in separate paragraphs, covering the positive and negative impacts of technology on socialization. The essay provides a clear opinion, stating that technology has a direct impact on social life, and the writer personally believes it has facilitated communication.

The essay has a logical structure with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion. While the ideas are generally well-connected, there is room for improvement in the transition between paragraphs.

A good range of vocabulary is used, and some words and expressions contribute to the overall quality of the essay. There are instances of repetition, such as the frequent use of the word "technology," which could be diversified.

The essay demonstrates a sound command of grammar, with varied sentence structures. Some minor spelling errors are present, such as "Bothe" instead of "Both," and there are instances where sentence structure could be refined for greater clarity.

The essay effectively addresses the rubric, offering a thoughtful discussion of both perspectives. To enhance coherence, consider refining transitions between paragraphs, diversifying vocabulary, and addressing minor grammatical errors for a more polished presentation. Overall, it's a solid response.

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The evolution of technology has sparked a contentious debate regarding its impact on human sociability. While some argue that technology has facilitated greater social connectivity, others contend that it has led to a decline in genuine human interaction. Both perspectives offer compelling insights into the multifaceted effects of technology on social behavior.
Advocates of the view that technology enhances social interaction highlight its role in bridging geographical barriers and facilitating communication. Social media platforms, messaging apps, and video calls have made it easier for individuals to stay connected irrespective of distance, fostering relationships and enabling frequent interactions. Moreover, online communities and forums provide spaces for like-minded individuals to engage, exchange ideas, and form networks, enhancing social bonds.
Conversely, proponents of the opposing viewpoint emphasize the adverse consequences of excessive reliance on technology. They argue that while digital communication offers convenience, it often lacks the depth and authenticity of face-to-face interactions. Prolonged screen time and the prevalence of virtual interactions can lead to a decline in essential interpersonal skills, diminish empathy, and foster a sense of isolation and loneliness.
In my opinion, the impact of technology on social interaction is nuanced. Undoubtedly, technology has expanded the avenues for connecting with others, transcending physical boundaries. However, an overreliance on digital communication at the expense of in-person interactions risks eroding the richness of genuine human connections. Striking a balance between leveraging technology for communication and nurturing real-life relationships is crucial in today's digital era.
In conclusion, while technology undeniably offers tools for social engagement, its pervasive influence demands cautious consideration. Harnessing technology to complement and enhance face-to-face interactions can ensure a harmonious blend of the digital and physical realms, enriching human sociability.
279 words

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