IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3129 – Band 6.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Many people use their phones for sending text more than talking.

What are the reasons for this?

Are there more advantages than disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Society and Community, Task 2 essay, Technology, Writing samples, Writing topics

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

An increasing number of people today are apt to use their cell phones for texting rather than conversing to each other. In my opinion, this option is more popular among people, especially young ones, because of its convenience and flexibility in comparison with maintaining conversation. This feature certainly help people express their emotions through pictures and symbols but there are also a number of drawbacks this attitude has.

There is little room for doubt that this contemporary option of modern devices is beneficial for people, as it allows people to send various types of messages without hesitation and waiting for direct response on it. In other words, by having the ability to express their thoughts or send important notifications, people can share information with their colleagues and friends at any convenient time. A typical example for this would be that people are able to send valuable notifications, such as meeting arrangements, their arrival date and time, or their current locations, through messengers. Furthermore, this issue is highly beneficial for busy people who are pressed for time to spend it for a phone conversation. Thus, an increasing popularity of texting is closely associated with its flexibility and less time consumption.

On the other hand, there are a number of disadvantages of an increasing popularity of sending text messages. Firstly, this opportunity would have a knock-on effect on people’s ability to maintain both a simple dialogue and valuable relationship with friends and relatives. Increasing propensity of sending messages at any occasions would eventually discourage people from maintaining face-to-face conversations, which could completely alter the nature of relationship between people. Secondly, this option might affect most people’s mental health. Without having a direct communication, the effect of loneliness would be escalated which could negatively affect people’s health conditions leading to increasing problems of deteriorating public health in relation to mentality.

In conclusion, while using text messages have a number of opportunities, such as speed of delivery and flexibility, for people, the negative aspects that could affect social mental stability should be taken into consideration.

341 words

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

May 4, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Task Response (TR):
- The essay addresses the topic, providing reasons for the preference for texting over talking and discussing both advantages and disadvantages.
- However, the essay could better balance the discussion of advantages and disadvantages. The conclusion summarizes the points but does not clearly state if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, as the question asks.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
- The essay is structured into clear paragraphs, each with a specific focus.
- Transitions such as "Furthermore," "On the other hand," and "In conclusion" are used effectively, but some ideas could be connected more smoothly.
- The flow of ideas is generally good, but some points in paragraphs are not fully developed or lack clear examples.

Lexical Resource (LR):
- The vocabulary is generally appropriate and varied, but there are instances of awkward phrasing and minor errors, such as "conversing to each other" (better as "conversing with each other").
- The use of complex vocabulary is attempted, but with occasional inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
- The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward constructions.
- For example, "This feature certainly help people" should be "This feature certainly helps people," and "the effect of loneliness would be escalated" could be rephrased for clarity.

Overall Feedback:
It adequately addresses the prompt with a clear structure and relevant examples. To achieve a higher band, the writer should focus on providing a more balanced discussion, refining the use of language for precision and clarity, and improving grammatical accuracy. The essay presents thoughtful points, but the articulation of these ideas could be more polished for a more effective and cohesive argument.

Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

5.0 addresses the task only partially; the format may be inappropriate in places

6.0 presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive

6.0 presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear

5.0

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0 logically organizes information and ideas

7.0 there is clear progression throughout

7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use

9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout

7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

7.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation

6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation

6.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences

8.0 makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies

9.0 communication is completely natural

7.0

6.0

Feedback:

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

The prevalent use of phones for texting rather than verbal communication stems from various factors. Primarily, texting offers unparalleled convenience and flexibility. It allows individuals to communicate at their convenience, overcoming time differences and accommodating busy schedules. This asynchronous nature permits users to respond at their own pace, enhancing convenience in communication.

Additionally, text messaging provides a written record of conversations, facilitating reference and clarity. It enables the exchange of detailed information without the need for immediate responses, serving as a valuable resource for recalling important details.

Furthermore, texting transcends language barriers and can be particularly advantageous for individuals facing difficulties expressing themselves verbally. It provides a platform for non-verbal communication through the use of emojis, pictures, and videos, allowing for nuanced expression and emotional conveyance that might be challenging through spoken words.

However, alongside its benefits, text-based communication on phones introduces certain disadvantages. Excessive reliance on texting can potentially diminish face-to-face interactions, affecting interpersonal relationships and social skills development. Misinterpretations due to the absence of vocal tone and body language cues may lead to communication breakdowns and misunderstandings, impacting the quality of interaction.

In conclusion, the preference for text-based communication on phones is propelled by its convenience, flexibility, and ability to transcend linguistic barriers. While it offers advantages such as asynchronous communication and detailed records, it also presents drawbacks, including potential impacts on social interactions and communication nuances. Striking a balance between text-based communication and verbal interaction is pivotal to harness the benefits while mitigating the drawbacks associated with the dominance of texting on phones.

256 words

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