IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3121 – Band 7.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries.
What problems does this cause?
What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Over the last few decades, the rise of skilled-workforce immigration from low-income to high-income countries has escalated. In my opinion, this tendency would lead to the eventual devastation of developing states economically and to a stagnation of an overall national development rate. There are a number of solutions should be implemented to deal with this issue.

Firstly, there is little room for doubt that developing countries would eventually face the scarcity of skilled workers if an increasing number of people, who have an educational background, opt to leave their motherlands. In other words, if a huge number of qualified and experienced people, such as doctors or teachers, leave a low-income country, few people could replace their positions and provide the same quality services. Furthermore, this tendency would significantly affect many developing countries economically as the coming generation would not be able to acquire proper education and people would suffer from low-quality medical services. Hence, the state of the turmoil and upheaval in the country’s educational and healthcare areas would definitely encourage other people to reflect on immigration.

There are two efficient solutions to deal with a problem associated with an increasing immigration rate in developing countries. One way to tackle this is to ensure that both working conditions and promotion opportunities within skilled workers, especially young specialists, would be prioritized. It will hopefully encourage professionals to throw themselves wholeheartedly into their work and prevent them from anxieties about their families’ needs. Another method of dealing with the high rate of immigration within qualified specialists is to provide them with a possibility to launch their own startups, such as online tutoring schools and private healthcare consultations, by lowering or abolishing the tax and providing a stable internet connection. It would significantly help them increase their income and give valuable means of supporting themselves and their families financially.

In conclusion, providing better working conditions and also allowing them to increase a profit by starting their own businesses are effective solutions to deal with this issue. If government implements these solutions, an immigration rate among skilled workers would soon drop.

347 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

March 8, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 7.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
8.0 sufficiently addresses all parts of the task
8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question
8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
8.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
7.0
Lexical Resource
9.0 uses a wide range of vocabulary
8.0 skillfully uses uncommon lexical items but there may be occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation
8.0 produces rare errors in spelling and/or word formation
9.0 the communication is completely natural
8.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
8.0 the majority of sentences are error-free
8.0 makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies
7.0 they do not impede communication
7.0
7.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Task Response (TR):
The essay addresses the prompt fully, discussing both the problems caused by the emigration of professionals from developing to developed countries and proposing solutions.
The problems are well-articulated, with clear examples such as the impact on education and healthcare.
The proposed solutions are relevant and practical, directly addressing the causes of the problem.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, with each section logically following the previous one.
Cohesive devices are used effectively to link ideas and concepts throughout the essay.

Lexical Resource (LR):
The vocabulary is varied and topic-appropriate, with a good range of language that is used effectively to convey precise meaning.
Some phrases could be more naturally worded (e.g., "throw themselves wholeheartedly into their work" could be simplified to "commit fully to their work").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
A variety of complex sentence structures are used with a high level of accuracy.
There are minor grammatical errors that do not impede communication (e.g., "there are a number of solutions should be implemented" could be corrected to "there are a number of solutions that should be implemented").

Overall Score:
The essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the issues related to skilled workforce emigration and proposes thoughtful solutions. The response is well-organized and communicates clear ideas, although there is room for improvement in natural expression and minor grammatical precision.

Video Feedback

IELTS Juice YouTube Channel

IELTS Juice

IELTS Juice is brought to you by Juice Academy, registered in ‌British Columbia, Canada. On this channel, experienced English teachers and IELTS experts provide lessons, tips, and guidance to help you improve your English and achieve the best results in the IELTS exam.

The IELTS Assessor

Kasra Sharifan

Kasra Sharifan

Co-founder and CFO

British Council certified English teacher, IDP-trained IELTS instructor, content writer, editor-in-chief, co-founder, and Chief Financial Officer (CFO) at IELTS Juice Online Academy.

Another Above 7.0 Sample

In recent years, a growing exodus of skilled professionals, notably doctors and educators, from underprivileged nations to developed countries has prompted critical concerns. This migration poses multifaceted challenges and calls for immediate attention to mitigate its repercussions.
Primarily, this trend exacerbates the scarcity of essential services in poorer nations, amplifying their struggle to provide adequate healthcare and education. The departure of skilled professionals creates voids in critical sectors, hindering the delivery of vital services to communities that need them most. Additionally, this brain drain perpetuates a cycle of dependency, impeding these countries' self-sufficiency and long-term development prospects.
Several strategies can address this issue. Firstly, fostering conducive working environments and offering competitive incentives in poorer nations can retain professionals within their home countries. Implementing initiatives like better wages, improved infrastructure, and professional development opportunities can dissuade individuals from seeking employment abroad. Moreover, establishing partnerships between developed and developing countries to facilitate knowledge exchange and capacity-building programs can enhance skill retention.
Furthermore, global cooperation is imperative. Developed nations can adopt ethical recruitment practices, refraining from actively recruiting professionals from countries already grappling with shortages. Simultaneously, offering support in the form of training programs or temporary exchanges can help alleviate the strain on healthcare and educational systems in poorer nations.
In conclusion, the migration of professionals from underprivileged countries to developed ones engenders numerous challenges, impacting critical services and impeding progress. Addressing this issue requires a multifaceted approach, including incentivizing professionals to stay, fostering global partnerships, and promoting ethical recruitment practices to ensure sustainable development for all nations.
255 words

Read similar samples


$59
IELTS Listening Course

IELTS Listening

Best approaches to each part of the IELTS Listening test

$79

IELTS Reading

All the strategies you need for success in IELTS reading

$99
IELTS writing

IELTS Writing

How to write letters, reports & essays based on IELTS criteria

$49
IELTS Speaking

IELTS Speaking

Top tips and speaking practice materials for the three parts

$19

IELTS Vocabulary

Master essential vocabulary for success in the IELTS test

Free

What’s IELTS

Have an overview of the IELTS test format & structure

Free

One Word or Two

Master words that look like one but are two, or vice versa