IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3109 – Band 5.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

It is necessary for parents to attend a parenting training course to bring their children up.

Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Education, Family and Relationships, Task 2 essay, Writing samples, Writing topics

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

There is no little room for doubt that raising children is conspicuously important. Whether parents should participate in training courses or not has sparked a heated debate. This viewpoint is sternly recommended by this essay on occount of ist undeniable virtues. Throughout the following paragraphs this viewpoint will be meticulously scrutinized to advocate rational standpoint.

For one,upbringing children is obviously important for all parents from all walks of life..If parents intend to have respectful, prosperous, and polite offspring, they should raise them by means of right instructions.That is to say,time is changing and numerous of parents require a great deal of knowledge to monitor their children,so they have to consult with child experts in training courses.Take a vivacious child devoting plenty of time on virtual games,as an illustration. This glaringly obvious instance exemplifies that parents should take part in effective courses to handle their children effectively.As a result,attending to such courses are considerably necessary.

More significantly,these days,without a shadow of a myriads of parents are occupied with job responsibilities,and they do not allocate sufficient time to expend with their children while their vital roles fot bringing children up should not be neglected. Not participating in training courses can lead to potential problems for children’s behaviour.Having attended to appropriate courses, parents would ensure that their strategies will be obviously correct. Scientific research,carrying out by psychologists and doctors on children’s mental as well as physical,as an examply.This crystal clear can easily illustrate that they endured years of ups and downs to gain rewarding experience in these realms.Therefore,parents should utilitize their guidelines to raise their offspring in the best way.

To recapitulate.after careful analyse of resounding effects of participating in training courses by parents,it seems to me that attending to such coursed is definitely imperetive. It, hence,is hoped that new important actions will be taken into consideration into the foreseeable future.

309 words

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

April 4, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 5.5 sample



Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The essay demonstrates a decent range of vocabulary, but it is often hindered by word choice issues, inaccuracies, and misuse of phrases. There is a need for more precise and accurate language, avoiding overly complicated sentence structures. In addition, The essay suffers from several grammatical errors and lacks sentence accuracy. There is a need for proper sentence construction and a better grasp of grammar rules to convey ideas effectively. The essay needs to simplify complex sentences to improve clarity and readability and avoid the excessive use of redundant phrases or unclear language. Here's a lesson that helps:

Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

7.0 addresses all parts of the task

6.0 presents a relevant position although the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive

7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus

6.0

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0 logically organizes information and ideas

7.0 there is clear progression throughout

6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately

6.0

Lexical Resource

9.0 uses a wide range of vocabulary

6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy

6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation

5.0 that may cause some difficulty for the reader

5.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do

6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation

5.0 errors can cause some difficulty for the reader

5.0

5.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The essay demonstrates a decent range of vocabulary, but it is often hindered by word choice issues, inaccuracies, and misuse of phrases. There is a need for more precise and accurate language, avoiding overly complicated sentence structures. In addition, The essay suffers from several grammatical errors and lacks sentence accuracy. There is a need for proper sentence construction and a better grasp of grammar rules to convey ideas effectively. The essay needs to simplify complex sentences to improve clarity and readability and avoid the excessive use of redundant phrases or unclear language. Here's a lesson that helps:

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The 5.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

In today's rapidly evolving world, the role of parents in the upbringing of their children cannot be overstated. As society becomes more complex, and children face new challenges and influences, it is essential that parents are well-equipped to guide their offspring. I wholeheartedly agree that it is necessary for parents to attend parenting training courses to raise their children effectively, and this essay will outline the reasons for my stance.

Firstly, parenting training courses provide parents with valuable knowledge and skills. These courses offer insights into child psychology, effective communication, and discipline techniques. Armed with this knowledge, parents can better understand and address their child's emotional and developmental needs. Such understanding is critical in building strong parent-child relationships and fostering a supportive, nurturing environment at home.

Secondly, attending parenting training courses helps parents develop a sense of self-confidence. Raising children can be a challenging and demanding task. Without proper guidance and information, parents may struggle and become uncertain about their parenting abilities. These courses boost parents' self-assurance by offering them a toolbox of strategies and best practices. This newfound confidence can positively impact their parenting style and the overall well-being of their children.

Moreover, parenting training courses emphasize the importance of consistent, evidence-based approaches to child-rearing. By adhering to these principles, parents can ensure their children receive consistent guidance and support, which is essential for their development and emotional stability.

In conclusion, parenting training courses are indispensable for modern parents to navigate the complexities of child-rearing successfully. They offer valuable knowledge, boost parental self-confidence, and promote a consistent, evidence-based approach to upbringing. Thus, I strongly agree that parents should attend such courses to bring up their children effectively.

278 words

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