IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3106 – Band 6.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Many university students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

When it comes to university time, a plethora of students intentionally or inadvertently should opt whether to live with their families or far from them according to their university’s location. Both states can be advantageous and disadvantageous simultaneously which will be critiqued in the following paragraphs.

On the one hand, if students choose to study in their own cities, they may live with their nuclear families more often than not. First and foremost, they can have some benefits by virtue of spending a quality time with their most beloved ones. This is of paramount significance to make a close-kniy family. Moreover, not only can they require to squander less money on renting a house. Living with family can have a drawback, and that is the home’s condition which may pose a challenge for students. Since this situation can be a disruptive situation and deter them from concentrating on their university’s materials.

On the other hand, should students inhabit without their families, when their universities are away from their homes. This is deemed to have some merits. It is of the utmost importance that people from all walk of life experience an opportunity to face the challenges of life solely, and this can be a golden time for them. Furthermore, they can focus better on their important issues as there is no siblings who can possibly disturb them. This living alone without the family members, however, can be sometimes disadvantageous, not least because of feeling lonely. There are moments that only by family can we fulfill our need of being calm, cheerful and happy.

In conclusion, based on the place of universities, students may reside either with their families or alone, in another place. Both situations seem to have some beneficial aspects and scores of downsides in terms of costs of livelihood, having quality time with family and concentration on curriculum of the university.

313 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

March 30, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Task Response (TR):
- The essay effectively addresses the task, discussing the advantages and disadvantages of university students living with their families and living away from home.
- The writer provides a balanced view of both situations, with clear examples for each.
- The conclusion summarizes the essay well but could include a more direct comparison of the two situations for greater impact.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
- The essay is structured into clear paragraphs, each addressing a different aspect of the topic.
- Transitions like “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” are used effectively.
- Some sentences and ideas could be connected more smoothly to enhance the overall flow and coherence.

Lexical Resource (LR):
- The vocabulary is generally varied and appropriate for the topic, but there are minor issues with expression and word choice.
- Phrases like “make a close-kniy family” (should be “close-knit”) and “not only can they require to squander less money” (awkward phrasing) could be refined for clarity.
- The use of expressions like “people from all walk of life” demonstrates an attempt to use a diverse lexical range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
- The essay shows a range of grammatical structures with a mix of simple and complex sentences.
- There are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions, such as “This is of paramount significance to make a close-kniy family” (which could be phrased more naturally).
- Attention to grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb forms and sentence construction, would enhance the response.

Overall: The essay adequately addresses the prompt, providing a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of both living situations for university students. Improvements in lexical precision, grammatical accuracy, and the cohesion of ideas would potentially lead to a higher band score. The writer demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and the ability to articulate a reasoned and balanced argument.


Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
6.0 addresses all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than others
7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response
6.0 presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
6.0 there is a clear overall progression
6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically
6.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
9.0 uses a wide range of structures
6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
6.0 errors rarely reduce communication
6.0
6.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Task Response (TR):
- The essay effectively addresses the task, discussing the advantages and disadvantages of university students living with their families and living away from home.
- The writer provides a balanced view of both situations, with clear examples for each.
- The conclusion summarizes the essay well but could include a more direct comparison of the two situations for greater impact.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
- The essay is structured into clear paragraphs, each addressing a different aspect of the topic.
- Transitions like “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” are used effectively.
- Some sentences and ideas could be connected more smoothly to enhance the overall flow and coherence.

Lexical Resource (LR):
- The vocabulary is generally varied and appropriate for the topic, but there are minor issues with expression and word choice.
- Phrases like “make a close-kniy family” (should be “close-knit”) and “not only can they require to squander less money” (awkward phrasing) could be refined for clarity.
- The use of expressions like “people from all walk of life” demonstrates an attempt to use a diverse lexical range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
- The essay shows a range of grammatical structures with a mix of simple and complex sentences.
- There are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions, such as “This is of paramount significance to make a close-kniy family” (which could be phrased more naturally).
- Attention to grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb forms and sentence construction, would enhance the response.

Overall: The essay adequately addresses the prompt, providing a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of both living situations for university students. Improvements in lexical precision, grammatical accuracy, and the cohesion of ideas would potentially lead to a higher band score. The writer demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and the ability to articulate a reasoned and balanced argument.

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The IELTS Assessor

Kasra Sharifan

Kasra Sharifan

Co-founder and CFO

British Council certified English teacher, IDP-trained IELTS instructor, content writer, editor-in-chief, co-founder, and Chief Financial Officer (CFO) at IELTS Juice Online Academy.

An Above 7.0 Sample

Living arrangements for university students, whether residing with family or away due to distant universities, offer distinct advantages and disadvantages.
Students living with their families benefit from a supportive environment. They enjoy emotional and financial backing, fostering a sense of security and stability. Moreover, living at home often reduces living expenses, alleviating financial burdens. Additionally, familial support provides a conducive atmosphere for studying and personal development.
However, this arrangement might curtail independence and hinder the complete college experience. Students residing at home might miss out on the opportunity to explore autonomy, make independent decisions, and navigate diverse social interactions crucial for personal growth. Moreover, commuting from home might lead to time constraints and fatigue, affecting academic engagement.
On the other hand, students living away from home due to distant universities experience increased independence and a more immersive college experience. Living on or near campus facilitates engagement in extracurricular activities, building diverse social networks and fostering self-reliance. It also promotes a greater sense of responsibility and adaptability, preparing students for life beyond academia.
Nonetheless, living away from home can be financially burdensome. Rent, living expenses, and the absence of familial support might strain finances. Additionally, the lack of family proximity might lead to feelings of isolation or homesickness, impacting mental well-being.
In conclusion, both living arrangements offer unique advantages and drawbacks. Living with family provides a supportive environment and financial ease but might limit independence. Living away promotes independence and a fuller college experience but can be financially and emotionally challenging. Ultimately, the choice between the two depends on individual preferences, financial considerations, and the desire for independence and personal growth.
270 words

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