IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3102 – Band 6.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Nowadays, more people get married to someone of a different culture than they ever did.
Why is this happening? Discuss both benefits and demerits of this trend.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

It is true that in today’s world more and nore people tend to get married to someone with a different culture . I believe globalisation is the key reason for this trend , and there are negative and positive results brought about by it .

Globalisation means shrinking of the world due to better communications among nations . This could be the main reason for people’s inclination to marrying beyond their cultures . Firstly , by introducing internet to the world , people have got to know other cultures more often than ever , and even started to fall for someone with another religion or racial heritage . Secondly , more convinient traveling due to progress in transportation . provide people the opportunity to travel around the world , make friends and even opt for a mate in a land far away ! Finally, media plays a huge part in eliminating the cultural barriers between people . Every yeare many newspapers and educational movies are being produced against bigotory and racism , which help bring people to the conclusion that they are one big nation , regardless of their background .

This trend could be both beneficial and deterimental . On the one hand , people’s getting married beyond their cultures , religions , races and nations creates a world with more affection and compassion , in which fewer conflicts concerning racial matters exist . Furthermore , building bi-racial families brings about a more hopeful future in terms of cultural diversity in the next generation . On the other hand , this trend could sometimes trigger conflicts between couples , due to having district ideas about different subjects . Besides , it could lead to confusion among the children , because of parents’ different traditions and beliefs .

In conclusion , there are several reasons contributing to increase in bi-cultural marriages , and to my view , it could create both good and bad results .

326 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

March 5, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
8.0 sufficiently addresses all parts of the task
8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question
7.0 presents, extends, and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus
7.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically
6.0
Lexical Resource
9.0 uses a wide range of vocabulary
7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
9.0 the communication is completely natural
7.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
8.0 the majority of sentences are error-free
7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors
6.0 errors rarely reduce communication
6.0
6.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Task Response (TR):
- The essay addresses the question by acknowledging the increase in cross-cultural marriages and identifies globalization as the main reason.
- The essay discusses both sides of the issue, providing examples of the potential benefits and drawbacks of this trend.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
- The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, following a logical structure.
- However, transitions between ideas could be smoother, and the essay would benefit from varied and more sophisticated cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource (LR):
- There is a good range of vocabulary appropriate for the topic, with terms like "globalization," "bigotry," and "bi-racial families."
- Be mindful of spelling errors (e.g., "nore" should be "more", "convinient" should be "convenient", "yeare" should be "years", "deterimental" should be "detrimental").

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
- The sentence structures show some variety, but more complex structures could demonstrate higher grammatical proficiency.

Overall, the essay makes a valid attempt to answer the prompt, presenting clear arguments for and against cross-cultural marriages influenced by globalization. The response would benefit from closer attention to detail, particularly in spelling and a more nuanced discussion of the reasons behind the trend and its potential effects on society.

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The 6.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

In contemporary times, an increasing number of individuals choose partners from diverse cultural backgrounds, marking a shift from past matrimonial practices. This trend can be attributed to globalization, increased mobility, and evolving societal attitudes toward intercultural relationships.
One significant reason for this trend is globalization, which has facilitated cultural exchange and interaction. Ease of travel, migration, and digital connectivity have brought people from varied cultures closer, fostering opportunities for cross-cultural encounters and relationships. Additionally, changing societal attitudes toward diversity and inclusivity encourage individuals to explore and appreciate different cultures, leading to increased intercultural marriages.
The benefits of intercultural marriages are manifold. Firstly, they promote cultural understanding and tolerance, fostering broader perspectives and appreciation for diverse traditions and customs. Such unions can strengthen interpersonal relationships by encouraging communication, compromise, and mutual respect, enhancing the richness of shared experiences. Moreover, children born into intercultural families often grow up with a broader worldview, bilingualism, and multicultural competence, providing them with unique advantages in a globalized world.
However, intercultural marriages are not without challenges. Differences in cultural norms, values, and traditions can lead to misunderstandings, communication barriers, and conflicts. Adjusting to unfamiliar customs or societal expectations may pose difficulties for couples, requiring patience and adaptability to bridge cultural gaps. Moreover, societal prejudices or discrimination against intercultural relationships can create social hurdles and familial tensions.
In conclusion, the rising prevalence of intercultural marriages stems from increased global connectivity and changing societal attitudes. While fostering cultural understanding and enriching experiences, these unions also present challenges related to cultural differences. Successful intercultural relationships necessitate open communication, respect, and willingness to navigate diverse cultural landscapes, emphasizing the importance of mutual understanding and adaptation.
275 words

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