IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3057 – Band 7.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Arts and Entertainment, Family and Relationships, Task 2 essay, Writing samples, Writing topics

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

It is no doubt true that optimal use of a spare time has a key impact on future life, so many concerned parents highly pay attention to their children’s leisure activities. While organised group activities can be useful, I believe that learning how to occupy ourselves is a necessary ability.

There appear to be several justifications in favor of organized group activities. To commence with, copious children may not be aware of how to spend their free time. If they are not mature enough to choose their appropriate pursuits, it would become the adults’ responsibility to assist them. More importantly, parents or teachers could be more experienced, in guiding them to organize preferable group activities and encourage their children or students to participate in such activities. Take for example sports team, dancing groups, or music clubs.

In spite of these considerations, it seems essential for the younger generations to learn how to spend their spare time on their own. This is due to the fact that free time could be a significant part of any individual, which may provide people with a golden opportunity to explore on their personal potentials and talents. Not only can this be valuable time in their daily life, but also they could focus on their distinctive characteristics and tastes. An introverted adolescent, for example, may enjoy reading books, whereas an extroverted teenager might choose to take part in extreme sports.

In conclusion, although many immature children need their adults’ interventions regarding their leisure time, I would argue the current generations should learn how to spend such valuable time based on their personalities and differences.

272 words

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

April 26, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 7.0 sample



Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Assessor’s Comment

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Overall, the essay is well-crafted, with each paragraph exploring a coherent argument supported by explanations. To improve the score, focus on enhancing the precision of language and grammar, and ensure that examples are specific and clearly developed to support the argument.

Kasra Sharifan

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response

8.0 sufficiently addresses all parts of the task

8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question

8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas

8.0

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0 logically organizes information and ideas

8.0 manages all aspects of cohesion well

7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use

9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout

7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

7.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

8.0 skillfully uses uncommon lexical items but there may be occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation

7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation

6.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

9.0 uses a wide range of structures

9.0 with full flexibility and accuracy

8.0 makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies

9.0 communication is completely natural

8.0

7.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. Overall, the essay is well-crafted, with each paragraph exploring a coherent argument supported by explanations. To improve the score, focus on enhancing the precision of language and grammar, and ensure that examples are specific and clearly developed to support the argument.

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The debate over how children should spend their free time is multifaceted, with some advocating for structured group activities while others champion independent self-entertainment. Proponents of organized group activities argue that such engagements provide opportunities for socialization, teamwork, and skill development. By participating in group sports, clubs, or classes, children learn important interpersonal skills such as communication, cooperation, and leadership. Moreover, structured activities offer a sense of routine and purpose, helping children develop discipline and time management skills from a young age.

On the other hand, advocates for independent self-entertainment emphasize the importance of children learning to occupy themselves creatively. Engaging in solitary activities allows children to explore their interests, express their imagination, and develop problem-solving skills without external guidance. Independent play fosters autonomy, self-reliance, and intrinsic motivation, which are essential qualities for personal growth and resilience.

In my view, both perspectives have their merits, and a balanced approach is key. While organized group activities provide valuable social and developmental benefits, children also need unstructured time to explore their interests and creativity independently. Parents should support a mix of both types of activities, allowing children to experience the benefits of social engagement while also fostering independence and self-reliance.

Ultimately, the goal is to provide children with a variety of opportunities to learn and grow in ways that suit their individual interests and needs. By striking a balance between structured and unstructured activities, parents can help children develop a diverse set of skills and experiences that will serve them well in life.

251 words