IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 3046 – Band 7.0

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

It is often said that to become a successful businessman a tertiary education is not at all necessary.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Some people, including me, believe that having a university degree is not essential to become successful in the market. In this essay, I will reinforce this idea with some examples and clear reasons.

There are many reasons to support this idea. The first reason is that learning business is a practical task. For establishing a new company, all information related to the market need to be analyzed. One of these factors is the behavior of the market, which is based on some practical facts. For example, the founder of Apple Corporation left the university to implement his idea based on the needs of the market. As a result, he became one of the best managers without any university degree around the world. Another reason is that all successful individuals in the market try to update themselves based on the factual information. This information cannot be acquired in any university or theoretical course. One of these factors is the political conflicts between countries. For instance, the result of the recent trade war between China and the United States cannot be predicted by any university or student in this field because they have never experienced this situation in the real world. However, some experienced managers try to analyze and use their experiences in this field to make a critical decision for the future of their company.

Although academic information plays a vital role in some fields, especially in some technology fields such as electronic market, some individuals have proved that it is possible to be successful in this field without any university degree. Intel corporation was established in 1970 by Mr. Moor, who left university. Therefore, He employed academic individuals to use their ability for him aim.

In conclusion, many individuals around the world have confessed that they became successful without university study. In my opinion, to become successful in the market, university study is not essential.

315 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

April 22, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 7.0 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
8.0 sufficiently addresses all parts of the task
8.0 presents a well-developed response to the question
8.0 with relevant, extended, and supported ideas
8.0
Coherence and Cohesion
7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
7.0 there is clear progression throughout
7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
7.0
Lexical Resource
6.0 uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task
6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
8.0 the majority of sentences are error-free
8.0 makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies
9.0 communication is completely natural
7.0
7.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay. The vocabulary is adequate for the task and there is some evidence of the ability to use a mix of simple and complex vocabulary. However, the essay could benefit from greater precision and variation in word choice to more effectively convey nuances. Some repetitions and awkward phrasing are evident.

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The assertion that tertiary education is dispensable for attaining success as a businessman is a topic of considerable debate. While some contend that formal education is not essential in entrepreneurial pursuits, others argue that it can provide valuable knowledge and skills conducive to success. In my view, while tertiary education may not be a prerequisite for entrepreneurial success, it can significantly enhance an individual's prospects in the business world.
Those who advocate for the notion that tertiary education is unnecessary for business success often highlight examples of successful entrepreneurs who have achieved remarkable feats without formal academic qualifications. They argue that traits such as creativity, determination, and practical experience are more critical than academic credentials in the entrepreneurial journey. Furthermore, they emphasize the dynamic nature of business, where real-world experience and adaptability often trump theoretical knowledge.
Conversely, proponents of the importance of tertiary education in business assert that higher education equips individuals with a range of skills and knowledge essential for navigating the complexities of the modern business landscape. A formal education can provide a solid foundation in areas such as finance, marketing, and management, as well as foster critical thinking, problem-solving, and communication skills. Additionally, tertiary institutions offer opportunities for networking, mentorship, and experiential learning, which can be invaluable assets for aspiring entrepreneurs.
In my opinion, while formal education may not guarantee success in business, it can certainly enhance an individual's entrepreneurial capabilities and prospects. Tertiary education provides access to resources, networks, and knowledge that can facilitate innovation, strategic thinking, and informed decision-making in the business realm. Moreover, a well-rounded education can instill discipline, resilience, and a growth mindset, all of which are essential qualities for entrepreneurial success.
In conclusion, while the necessity of tertiary education for becoming a successful businessman is subject to debate, I believe that it can play a significant role in empowering individuals with the skills, knowledge, and mindset necessary to thrive in the competitive business environment. While real-world experience and innate qualities are undoubtedly valuable, formal education can complement and enhance an individual's entrepreneurial journey.
341 words

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