IELTS Writing Task 2 essay sample 2989 – Band 5.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 - Essay

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some people believe that managers are responsible for the organization’s success, while others think various features of the organization play a vital role in it.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

There is an argument whether managers have effects on companies’ improvements or the firm structure owns the main role in this moving ahead. However, companies’ characteristics are important I do agree with the impact of whom is assigned for high level position.

Regarding organization features, there are some discussable factors which directly put the company in right and proper route of success. To begin with, human resource department is the core part in employing professional personalities. By having such part, company requirements and targets will be met. For instance, consider a telecom company which this part in it, is only searching for persons who graduated in telecommunication engineering. After employing them and by passing time, it will be noted that other experts such as Civil, IT and Electronics are required to be added for solving upcoming issues. Not only this, companies with more up-to-date strategies will survive more than old ones which work with plans that have been provided 50 years or more ago. They are ready for any obstacles and solutions are in hand to tackle the difficulties.

On the other hand, there are a group of managers who have the company goals in hand. I believe that they have the undeniable role to ease the way of being the whole colony prominent. For this, various strategies are available ahead. Firstly, they can have a clear assignment plan in their team. Everyone knows what they should to do and company targets have been defined in a way attract employees and make them feel enthusiastic on consistent improvement. Secondly, the manager focuses on strategies and recent experiences across the world in same field of competitors. Coming up with fresh processes and shortcuts to close the organization to the bright point. Finally, they know well how to behave their team efficiently to motivate them in a way working not just for salary but for team rise-up. With this culture, success could be the only destination.

To conclude, while some personalities highlight the working place features in its moving forward, I stand beside the ones who consider people role, especially managers in the way leads to successfulness.

355 words
Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

May 26, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 5.5 sample

Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Response
7.0 addresses all parts of the task
7.0 presents a clear position throughout the response
6.0 presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed/unclear
6.0
Coherence and Cohesion
6.0 arranges information and ideas coherently
6.0 there is a clear overall progression
5.0 makes inadequate, inaccurate, or over-use of cohesive devices
6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately
6.0 uses paragraphing, but not always logically
5.0
Lexical Resource
7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation
6.0 they do not impede communication
6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
5.0 attempts complex sentences but these tend to be less accurate than simple sentences
6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation
5.0 errors can cause some difficulty for the reader
5.0
5.5

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this essay.
Task Achievement (TA):
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views and presenting the writer's opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed with more specific examples and clearer integration of the writer’s opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion (CC):
The essay has a logical structure, but the progression of ideas is sometimes unclear. Linking phrases are used but not always appropriately, leading to a lack of smooth transitions. Some sentences are confusing due to grammatical issues.

Lexical Resource (LR):
There is some variety in vocabulary, with attempts to use less common lexical items. However, frequent errors in word choice and collocation, along with spelling mistakes, limit the overall effectiveness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA):
The essay attempts complex sentences, but frequent grammatical errors (e.g., subject-verb agreement, articles, prepositions) obscure meaning and require re-reading for clarity. Limited range of grammatical structures is evident.

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The 5.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

There is ongoing debate about whether managers significantly influence companies' improvements or if the firm’s structure plays the primary role in its progress. While the characteristics of companies are indeed important, I firmly believe that the impact of those assigned to high-level positions cannot be overlooked.
Regarding organizational features, several factors directly contribute to a company’s successful trajectory. First and foremost, the human resources department plays a crucial role in hiring professionals. By effectively managing this department, a company ensures its requirements and targets are met. For example, a telecom company might initially seek only graduates in telecommunication engineering. However, as time progresses, it becomes clear that experts in Civil, IT, and Electronics are also essential to address emerging issues. Additionally, companies with modern strategies tend to survive longer than those clinging to outdated plans. Being prepared for obstacles and having solutions readily available is vital for sustained success.
On the other hand, managers hold a pivotal role in guiding companies toward their goals. Their influence is undeniable in steering the entire organization towards prominence. Various strategies can be employed to achieve this. Firstly, managers can implement clear assignment plans within their teams. When everyone understands their responsibilities and the company's targets, it fosters enthusiasm and continuous improvement among employees. Secondly, managers can focus on adopting strategies and learning from recent experiences in the global competitive landscape. Introducing innovative processes and shortcuts can propel the organization towards its objectives. Finally, effective managers know how to motivate their teams, ensuring that employees work not just for their salaries but for the overall growth of the team. This culture of motivation and collective success leads to the ultimate destination of achievement.
To conclude, while some emphasize the significance of organizational features in driving progress, I align with those who consider the role of individuals, especially managers, as crucial to leading a company to success.
312 words

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