IELTS Writing Task 1 letter sample 3410 – Band 5.5

General Training IELTS Writing Task 1 - Letter

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

You eat at your college canteen every lunchtime. However, you think it needs some improvements.

Write a letter to the college magazine. In your letter:

explain what you like about the cafeteria

say what is wrong with it

suggest how it could be improved.

Write at least 150 words.

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ......................................................... ,

Education, Environment, Society and Community, Task 1 Letter, Writing samples

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to let you know that I have been using the college’s cafeteria to eat my lunch ever since the beginning of my curriculum and would like to suggest some areas of improvements that might be taken into consideration.

What I like about the canteen is its friendly atmosphere. Every time I eat my meal there, ~~the chances I are meeting~~ chances are I meet new people and make friends. That is how I found my social circles, which led to many unjoyful, unpleasant activities. If this place had not existed, I would not have had the chance to get to know new people and develop my social skills.

However, the cafeteria lacks a proper air conditioning system. Because of the large number of students ~~that are using~~ who use the canteens at lunchtime, the air does not circulate through the ~~balloon~~ area properly, making it difficult to breathe. Moreover, while the doors are open to vent the air in and out, the cafeteria gets too hot due to the radiated heat which comes from the kitchen appliances.

Would you kindly replace the current old-fashioned fan towers with some ACs that are capable of cooling down the cafeteria? I have seen some ACs at Costco wholesale that are on promotions for the education institutes. I would recommend taking a look at those affordable products. I would much appreciated it if you could arrange for these replacements.

Thank you for your consideration. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

256 words

Planning Stage

Presented By: Kasra Sharifan

September 15, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 5.5 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Achievement (GT)

6.0 addresses the requirements of the task

6.0 there may be inconsistencies in tone

6.0 presents and adequately highlights bullet points but details may be irrelevant, inappropriate, or inaccurate

6.0 presents a purpose that is generally clear

6.0

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0 logically organizes information and ideas

6.0 there is a clear overall progression

6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

6.0

Lexical Resource

6.0 uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task

6.0 attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy

6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation

6.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

6.0 uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms

6.0 complex sentences have the same accuracy as the simple ones do

6.0 makes some errors in grammar and punctuation

5.0 errors can cause some difficulty for the reader

5.0

5.5

Feedback:

Thank you for writing this letter. The letter deviates slightly from the task. The description of "unjoyful unpleasant activities" is confusing and negatively impacts the coherence of the message. The purpose of the letter is somewhat unclear in places, particularly in explaining the significance of the cafeteria's social environment. Vocabulary usage is sometimes inaccurate or awkward, e.g., "unjoyful unpleasant activities," "balloon" instead of "room," and "I would much appreciated it" instead of "I would appreciate it."

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The 5.5 sample upgraded to 7.0+

Dear Sir/Madam

I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to share my thoughts on the college cafeteria, which I have been using for lunch since the beginning of my studies. While I appreciate many aspects of the cafeteria, I believe there are some areas where improvements could be made.

Firstly, I would like to commend the cafeteria for its warm and welcoming atmosphere. It is a place where students can not only enjoy their meals but also socialize and build connections. Personally, I have met many new people and formed lasting friendships during my time here, and the cafeteria has played a significant role in this.

However, one issue that needs to be addressed is the lack of proper air conditioning. With the large number of students who use the cafeteria during lunchtime, the air circulation becomes inadequate, making the space feel stuffy and uncomfortable. Additionally, when the doors are left open to allow fresh air in, the heat from the kitchen makes the room even hotter, which can be quite unpleasant.

I would like to suggest that the current outdated fan towers be replaced with modern air conditioning units. I have noticed that Costco offers educational discounts on AC units, which could be a cost-effective solution. This upgrade would greatly enhance the comfort of the cafeteria, making it a more enjoyable place for everyone.

Thank you for considering my suggestions. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,

244 words