IELTS Writing Task 1 letter sample 3142 – Band 6.5

General Training IELTS Writing Task 1 - Letter

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

You are moving to a new country, write a letter to the accommodation agency to rent a house.
In your letter, describe:
  • yourself and your family
  • which area you would like to live in
  • and what facilities you need in the house
  • Write at least 150 words.

    You do NOT need to write any addresses.

    Begin your letter as follows:

    Disclaimer

    The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

    Candidate’s Response:

    Dear Sir/Madam,

    My name is Dina Adams and I will move to Sydney with my family next month. I am writing this letter to enquire about the types of accommodation in city center of Sydney.

    As I said earlier, my family and I are moving to Sydney since my husband got a job offer from a prominent company in Sydney. He is an experienced web designer who has done several enterprise projects. Besides, I have been working as a chief in a gourmet restaurant in Tehran for 3 years, so I hopefully can find a job in Sydney as I heard there are some vacancies for chiefs.

    We are looking for a furnished house in suburb away from the hustle and bustle of the city. Obviously, this type of accommodation may be pricey, but we prefer to live somewhere without any traffic congestion. Moreover, a two bedroom house is preferable for us as my mom may come and visit us regularly.

    I have checked outskirts of Sydney for finding a suitable place for us to live. It seems that Manly area is appropriate for us as the location has powerful public transport network.

    I would be grateful if you send me some information about the prices for renting a place in the above mentioned location.

    Looking forward to hearing from you.

    Yours Faithfully,

    225 words
    Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

    Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

    February 24, 2024

    This is an IELTS writing band 6.5 sample

    Disclaimer

    The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

    Assessor’s Comment

    Thank you indeed for writing this letter. Task Achievement (TA): The letter effectively addresses the three key points: introducing oneself and family, specifying the desired living area, and listing the required facilities in the house.
    The purpose of the letter, which is to inquire about accommodation in the city center of Sydney, is clear and maintained throughout.

    Coherence and Cohesion (CC): The letter is generally well-organized with clear paragraphing.
    There is a logical progression of ideas, moving from introducing the family to the preferred living area and desired facilities.
    The connection between sentences and ideas is good, but a slightly stronger link between the choice of Manly area and the preference for powerful public transport could enhance cohesion.

    Lexical Resource (LR):Vocabulary is varied, and there is a good attempt to use less common words, such as "vacancies" and "congestion." However, there are instances where more precise vocabulary or synonyms could be employed to enhance the richness of expression. The typing error "chief" or "chef" can make the reader confused what the writer intended to say.

    Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Sentence structures are varied, and there is an attempt to use complex sentences.
    However, there are instances of minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that slightly impact fluency.
    Some sentences could be refined for better clarity and coherence.

    The response fully addresses the task requirements by providing relevant information about the individual and family, expressing preferences for the living area, and specifying desired facilities in the house. The letter maintains a formal tone throughout, suitable for an inquiry letter to an accommodation agency.


    Kasra Sharifan

    IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

    Task Achievement (GT)
    8.0 covers all requirements of the task sufficiently
    8.0 presents, highlights and illustrates bullet points clearly and appropriately
    9.0 details are fully and clearly extended.
    9.0 presents a clear purpose
    8.0
    Coherence and Cohesion
    7.0 logically organizes information and ideas
    7.0 there is clear progression throughout
    7.0 uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
    9.0 uses referencing clearly and appropriately throughout
    8.0 uses paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately
    7.0
    Lexical Resource
    7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
    7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
    7.0 may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
    5.0 that may cause some difficulty for the reader
    5.0
    Grammatical Range and Accuracy
    7.0 uses a variety of complex structures
    8.0 the majority of sentences are error-free
    8.0 makes only very occasional errors or inappropriacies
    7.0 they do not impede communication
    7.0
    6.5

    Feedback:

    Thank you indeed for writing this letter. Task Achievement (TA): The letter effectively addresses the three key points: introducing oneself and family, specifying the desired living area, and listing the required facilities in the house.
    The purpose of the letter, which is to inquire about accommodation in the city center of Sydney, is clear and maintained throughout.

    Coherence and Cohesion (CC): The letter is generally well-organized with clear paragraphing.
    There is a logical progression of ideas, moving from introducing the family to the preferred living area and desired facilities.
    The connection between sentences and ideas is good, but a slightly stronger link between the choice of Manly area and the preference for powerful public transport could enhance cohesion.

    Lexical Resource (LR):Vocabulary is varied, and there is a good attempt to use less common words, such as "vacancies" and "congestion." However, there are instances where more precise vocabulary or synonyms could be employed to enhance the richness of expression. The typing error "chief" or "chef" can make the reader confused what the writer intended to say.

    Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Sentence structures are varied, and there is an attempt to use complex sentences.
    However, there are instances of minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that slightly impact fluency.
    Some sentences could be refined for better clarity and coherence.

    The response fully addresses the task requirements by providing relevant information about the individual and family, expressing preferences for the living area, and specifying desired facilities in the house. The letter maintains a formal tone throughout, suitable for an inquiry letter to an accommodation agency.

    Video Feedback

    The IELTS Assessor

    Kasra Sharifan

    Kasra Sharifan

    Co-founder and CFO

    British Council certified English teacher, IDP-trained IELTS instructor, content writer, editor-in-chief, co-founder, and Chief Financial Officer (CFO) at IELTS Juice Online Academy.

    An Above 7.0 Sample

    Dear Sir/Madam
    I am writing to inquire about the availability of rental housing as my family and I prepare for our upcoming relocation to Australia.
    Comprising myself, my spouse, and our two children, we are seeking a residence in the Valency neighborhood] of Melborn to facilitate our transition. Our priority is a location with convenient access to schools and public transportation due to our children's educational requirements. Ideally, we are looking for a minimum of three bedrooms, a modern kitchen equipped with essential appliances, and a secure outdoor area suitable for our children's recreational activities.
    We would greatly appreciate any information regarding suitable properties meeting these specifications, along with details on lease terms and rental pricing. Additionally, any insights into nearby amenities and educational institutions would assist us in making an informed decision.
    Thank you for your complete attention to this matter. We eagerly anticipate your prompt response.
    Yours faithfully,
    152 words

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