IELTS Writing Task 1 letter sample 3053 – Band 6.0

General Training IELTS Writing Task 1 - Letter

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children’s sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public.

Write a letter to the company. In your letter

describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team

summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts

say how you think the company should spend the money

Write at least 150 words.

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear ......................................................... ,

Arts and Entertainment, Sports and Leisure, Task 1 Letter, Work and Employment, Writing samples, Writing topics

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

Candidate’s Response:

Dear sir or madam,

I am writing to you in relation to your decision to donate money to my local community.

Spending money on our children’s team has two major advantages. Firstly, not only could it improve their health, but it is may also ~~may~~ help them to choose a suitable future career as a ~~prefosionel~~ professional athlete. Secondly, doing sport may prohibit them from committing only possible crime, and it might prevent them from ~~become~~ becoming a juvenile delinquent.

After spending money ~~for~~ on concerts, I believe it may help my local community to have more fun. This program may both improve their social communication and their knowledge of our contemporary music. Moreover, it may lead to bringing families together even for a short period of time.

Frankly, I believe is spending money on our children’s sports team ~~sports~~ is much ~~more~~ better for two main reasons. Firstly, the future is theirs, and if you spend your money on nurturing in this group, our community will benefit from it in the near future. Secondly, they are the most energetic generation in our society, so if they are oriented ~~to a~~ in the right way, they will be able to build not only their future but also a better community.

I appreciate your decision on spending money on my local community, and I look forward to allocating your money to our children’s sport team.

Yours faithfully,

224 words

Presented By: Shahab Hosseinzadeh

May 24, 2024

This is an IELTS writing band 6.0 sample

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Disclaimer

The writing sample displayed here is the work of IELTS candidates and has been assessed by our team for guidance and practice purposes. These scores are not official IELTS scores.

IELTS Writing Band Descriptors:

Task Achievement (GT)

7.0 covers the requirements of the task

7.0 with the tone consistent and appropriate

7.0 clearly presents and highlights bullet points but could be more fully extended

9.0 presents a clear purpose

7.0

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0 logically organizes information and ideas

7.0 there is clear progression throughout

6.0 uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical

6.0 may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately

7.0 presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

6.0

Lexical Resource

7.0 uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision

7.0 uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation

6.0 makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation

6.0 they do not impede communication

6.0

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0 uses a variety of complex structures

7.0 produces frequent error-free sentences

7.0 has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few errors

6.0 errors rarely reduce communication

6.0

Feedback:

Thank you indeed for writing this letter. It effectively addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear opinion; however, the arguments need further development with specific examples and clearer explanations. While your ideas are logically structured, some transitions between paragraphs are abrupt, affecting coherence. Additionally, frequent grammatical errors, awkward phrasing, and incorrect word usage lower readability and accuracy. To improve, focus on refining sentence structure, using more precise vocabulary, and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas. Expanding on the benefits of each option with concrete examples would also strengthen your argument and boost your score.

Example errors:
"Doing sport" → "Participating in sports"
"A prefosionel athlete" → "A professional athlete"
"Committing only possible crime" → Unclear meaning. Perhaps: "Engaging in criminal activities."
"Much more better" → "Much better" (avoid double comparatives)

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The 6.0 sample upgraded to 7.0+

Dear Sir/Madam

I am writing to offer my feedback on the allocation of funds for sponsoring a local children's sports team or hosting open-air concerts. Sponsoring the sports team can bring several advantages, including promoting physical activity among children, fostering teamwork, discipline, and leadership skills, and enhancing community cohesion through participation in organized sports events.

Alternatively, funding open-air concerts offers cultural enrichment and entertainment to the community, attracting diverse audiences and promoting social interaction and unity.

Considering the potential long-term impact, I believe the company should prioritize sponsoring the local children's sports team. Investing in youth sports not only benefits the physical and mental well-being of children but also contributes to the development of future athletes and community leaders. Furthermore, the company's involvement in promoting healthy lifestyles aligns with corporate social responsibility objectives and strengthens its connection with the local community.

Thank you for considering my perspective on this matter.

Sincerely,

153 words